I don't really know what to say about it, except that it's true. I've sort of known this day was coming since we've been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years now, but I've been putting off the appointment making and whatnot. However, at my annual last month my Dr. sent my file over to the infertility treatment coordinator, and I've now had an appointment with her, so I guess it's official.
We're not really going to do much about it, but it has meant a couple extra Dr. appointments and some extra bloodwork. But I suppose I should start documenting some of the results so I can follow my own progress, too.
As a side note, Leif suggested the other day that I would be a good accountant. I thought he was mocking me since I stink at numbers, but he was actually complimenting me on my compulsive documentation of things. I guess I am a compulsive documenter, but I don't feel very organized when I do. Hence, I blog.
So... a month ago my Dr. called in some day 3 labs to be drawn, and decided to do a complete workup just to keep in my file. Here are the results (that I can find... I'll have to come back in and edit the information as I come across it or call back for the info from the Dr.) from that:
2/14/2009
Estradiol: 85 (for good fertility, they like to see this number under 50)
FSH: _____ (Good)
*TSH: 1.4 (Very Good)
2/17/2009
**Triglycerides: _____ (Good)
**LDH: _______ (Good)
**HDH: _______ (Good)
Because my Estradiol level was high in February, my Dr. wanted to repeat the day 3 labs and do an ultrasound to see what was going on. Basically, as far as I understand it, there are two reasons the estradiol could be high without the others being elevated.
1. Cyst - a cyst could elevate the estradiol level without really impacting my fertility. I guess cysts come and go, so having the tests redone could confirm a cyst the month before and none now.
2. Not enough follicles - I could be running out of eggs and follicles, though since I'm still in my 20's she was hoping this wasn't the case. There's not much you can do once you run out of eggs.
So... I went to the Dr. on March 13 to chat and have an ultrasound. What I learned from the ultrasound is that...
1. I don't currently have a cyst, which is good. That means a cyst wouldn't cause abnormal hormone fluctuations for the blood test.
2. I have plenty of follicles! I'm not running out of eggs, which is encouraging. The Dr. said she likes to see a total of 10 follicles between the two ovaries and I have at least 10 on each side, so I'm good. Whew!
The next day I went in to draw day 3 labs again and here are the results:
3/14/2009
Estradiol: 41 (should be under 50)
FSH: _______ (Good)
So... things are good in that department!
Another concern I have had, and this I cannot trace back to the tube removal as a result of the ectopic pregnancy, is that my luteal phase has been getting shorter. So, there is a chance that I have been getting pregnant those couple months that I actually ovulated on the correct side, but that my progesterone level wasn't high enough to support the pregnancy, so it never had a chance to implant and grow. My cycles used to be very consistently 34 days. Every time. With a 15 day luteal phase. The last few times I charted, though, my luteal phase was only 9-11 days. 10 is the bare minimum needed to support a pregnancy, so that is a concern. I haven't been charting for some time now, but based on when I had my day 3 labs drawn the last 2 months, my last cycle was only 28 days. That's short for me, so I'm guessing I had another short luteal phase.
So... right now I'm back to charting. That part is just for my own tracking (there's that documentation obsession again!) so I can keep tabs on what's going on. I'm also using OPK's at the Dr.'s request since that's what they use to track ovulation. I'm going to go in for more blood work at 5,7, and 9 days past my LH surge to track my progesterone levels and see if they are low or drop off at the end. That should tell me if that's what's causing the shortened luteal phase. So... charting, more bloodwork. That's pretty much it.
My Dr. recommended going on Clomid to stimulate ovulation, but I have had pretty nasty side effects (weight gain! and emotional psychosis!) on hormones, so I don't want to do that. Aside from the side effects, I'm not ready to try to force my body to do something it's not supposed to be doing on its own. And I'm pretty sure if God doesn't want us to have any more kids right now, going on Clomid isn't going to help. =D So... getting to the root of the problem and fixing what's wrong I'm okay with. Trying to force something I'm not.
I'm charting on fertility friend. And hopefully Ellie won't steal my thermometer this month so I can actually get an accurate record. And I'll be recording other random (not what goes on my chart, just Dr. appts and blood work results, etc.) here. It's body clutter, right? Or at least mental clutter that has to do with my body...
1 comment:
I am so sorry you are faced with this. Your comment about God being in control is so true, and really what will see you through all this.
Because of my endometriosis, we never fussed around with charting and clomid. We went straight to the big guns with IVF. But I was older and had a long long history of reproductive organ damage. And, in all likelihood we never would have done IVF except for the fact that a pregnancy was desparately needed to control the raging endometriosis. So, we desparately wanted a baby, and it just so happened that having a baby had a very good chance (75%) of curing what was ailing me. And believe me, it was ailing me something fierce.
I saw a book at the library about infertility for couples who have one child before the infertility issues come up. It was interesting to see some of the emotional issues that are different in this type of situation than in no children infertility. I was given the impression that it is a bit of a lonelier journey because 1. the infertile couple feels like they can't complain when they've already got one child; 2. others don't understand how they could be faced with infertility if they have one child already; and 3. public perception is the couple should be satisfied with what they got. But, the book talked about the fact that it is still a dream that is not coming true the way it was expected to. So, hang in there, recognize that it is not wrong to feel sad about this struggle, and you are not greedy for wanting another child. And, never ever let it cross your mind that God has decided you aren't a good enough parent with Ellie to trust you with other children. That is Satan talking, but he will try to convince you that is the case. It is not!!!!!
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