Food Log - 12/12

8:20 - Activia light strawberry
12:00 - 2 corn tortillas with cheese and chicken
3:30 - carbonated water with gingerale flavor (splenda)
5:30 - Soup (chicken fettuccini soup!) and a buttered roll at the cookie exchange - and I managed to avoid eating cookies there!
9:00 - one cookie from the exchange, once I got home in case I was too dizzy to drive - I got sleepy, but not dizzy, so yay!

Food Log - 12/11

6:00 - decaf coffee at Bible Study
8:15 - 7 grain oatmeal sprinkled with Splenda for a little sweet
1:00 - 3 cheese sticks and marinara sauce from the mall (a quick lunch on the go) and diet mtn dew
7:30 - RNT Christmas party dinner - potatoes, carrots, chicken, and a roll, a small glass of white wine, one small dessert (bite size) and 2 cups diet pepsi.

No vitamins or exercise again today. Blerg.

Felt fine, and even got some cleaning in the craft room and some MK phone calls made.

Food Log - 12/10

12/10

9:30 am - 3 Cream Cheese Spritz cookies
11:20 am - 2 corn tortillas with chili and cheese inside
12:00 - 1 liter carbonated water
1:00 - A little headachy, so I at an Activia Light Vanilla.
3:00 - Sugar Free Macchiato from the coffee shop (Splenda)
6:00 - 3 Crackers and a tiny bit of avocado dip while scrapbooking at Kristii's
8:45 - 5 Crackers (the big ones) and 2 wedges Laughing Cow cheese

I never did get my vitamins in, nor did I get exercise in. =( I did get some scrapbooking done, though... =D

I'm in my workout clothes

but I can't find my shoes. How frustrating! I have 2 pairs of running shoes and I can't find either of them! And I can't very well run without shoes. Hmph.

I might have to settle for some Wii yoga, though it doesn't exactly get my heart rate up. Again, I say Hmph.

Because I'm going on another full week of hormone induced depression and it's affecting my life, I called the Dr. today and asked her to fill the low dose Zoloft prescription she offered a couple months ago. I have to get a handle on this, and It's not working by my sheer will power alone, obviously. I'm sleeping a lot, eating sporadically (nothing consistent, sometimes I'm not hungry all day long and don't eat until dinner, and sometimes I'm eating simply for comfort - neither of which is healthy), finding excuses to avoid going out, not answering my phone because I don't want to talk to people... I can't live like this. So I called in the prescription. Hopefully that means I'll be able to start functioning a little better and at least get into some healthy patterns.

On the plus side, I did go back to Aerial Dance after 2 weeks of missing, so that's good. I'm also at least THINKING about exercise (even if I can't find my shoes!), so I'm taking that as a good sign, too.

As for a food log...

This morning Leif asked me to put away the spritz cookies he and Ellie made last night. Of course, I divided them into a dozen per baggie and ended up with 3 strays. You know I ate them. Hello, unhealthy breakfast! Thankfully they're small, and didn't seem to bother me at all. No headache, no dizzy. I ate lunch at about 11:20 and it consisted of 2 small corn tortillas filled with chili (the salty, turkey variety from a can) and cheese. This is one of my new favorites. Easy, not too much in the way of carbs, and they're small, so I can eat 2 and not have too much. I'm drinking a liter of carbonated water right now to add to that.

As for how I feel, I feel like I'm in a fog, like I'm made of glass and could break at any moment. I think of what I ought to be doing and can't focus long enough to get a task done. I have bunches of projects started all over the house and I can't seem to move forward with any of them. I really is like I'm walking around in the fog, trying to get my brain to reach out and focus on anything, but nothing is happening. It's very frustrating. I feel sluggish, but not so much that I didn't get out of bed, change the sheets, start a load of laundry, take a shower, and get into my workout clothes. Still, the fact that I find that an accomplishment by noon is disturbing. I did work on cutting exercises with Ellie, so I suppose that's something, too. In any event, I'd like to go back to feeling like me, instead of feeling like someone has replaced me with a slug. I'm tired of slithering around my house, leaving a trail behind me. I'd like to go back to getting stuff done early in the morning and having the rest of the day for myself or to do things with Eliana. That's what I'd like. Instead, I stay in bed until 9 and consider getting a shower and getting dressed accomplishments. I'd like to find the power button again. It's like someone put me in hibernation mode!

So... that's how I feel. I'm going to go take my vitamins now and see if it helps. =D

Going Sugar Free

So... I'm not going completely sugar free, but I am trying to keep added sugar out of my diet. I am having blood sugar issues any time I eat anything sweet, including drinking juice with dinner. So... I'm finding myself looking for substitutes again, since I can't live completely deprived of sweets!! For the most part I've been able to cut stuff out without too many problems, but occasionally I just WANT something sweet, you know? So here's what I've found...

1. Splenda Pop. =D Shasta is my favorite, because it's cheap, and the grapefruit and root beer taste yummy! Diet Hansen's soda is good, too, but hard to find around here and more expensive. Same with Diet Jones.

2. Hunt's Pudding - sweetened with Splenda! Woohoo! This has been a recent favorite. =D

3. Activia Light - I had to switch the yogurt I was eating because Yoplait has too much sugar in it and was making me light headed every time I ate it. So I switched to Activia and picked up the light because it's all Costco carries. Sweetened with sucralose!

4. Great Value enhanced vitamin drink packets - One of the few things I get at Walmart, but a great alternative to regular water.

I'm sure there are others, but these are the ones I've been enjoying lately. Some sugar doesn't bother me, but it's been a crazy ride trying figure out what does and doesn't bother me, and just how much is too much. I'm hoping to get some tests done in January to see what the problem is, but for now I'm just trying to avoid the dizzy.

This IS Me.

ZooMT with Rhiannon, originally uploaded by elizabethwickland.

This is a picture from last weekend. This is what I look like. I'm not huge, but I would like to be smaller. It's true. The thought of trying to lose weight right now overwhelms me, though, so I'm not going to strive for it.

I did talk to my mom today, though, and we're going to encourage each other to walk 3 days a week. That's a start. I walked yesterday. I was going to walk today, but was running to and fro all day and then had company for dinner, so I missed the conference call I usually walk during.

3 times this week. That is my aim. One down, two to go.

This is not me.

Aerial Dance, originally uploaded by elizabethwickland.

But this IS what I learned how to do in Aerial Dance today!! This has been on my list of things I want to learn - and today I did!

I haven't been feeling my best again lately (like, the last few days) and today I really felt it. I just felt exhausted before we even started in Aerial Dance. It was a good class, but I definitely didn't push myself. It was kind of sad. Then I came home, ate a little lunch, and took a 3 hour nap. That is unlike me! I'm just hoping that when I go back on my progesterone in 2 days my energy levels will pick up again! The vitamins are definitely helping, and my energy levels didn't drop off for the whole two weeks this time, just a couple days, but it really stinks when they do drop off!

On a related note, our insurance decided that my doctor appointments to get this stuff figured out are not worthy of being covered by insurance, so I don't know where we'll go from here. I may just stick with vitamins. Really, there should be exercise involved, too, but I just can't seem to make myself do it. And I don't know how to make myself want to. It's frustrating.

So... I'll stick to Aerial Dance once a week for now and enjoy it. It turns out it really is helping, and I am developing strength I didn't have before! Plus, it's really fun, and I get to do things I never thought I could.

Treadmill Desk

I walked on my treadmill desk again tonight during the pacesetters call. It works very well!! I listen to the call on Skype and I can type notes as I walk. Tonight I managed to up my speed to 3mph and still be able to type just fine. Woohoo! I walked for a total of an hour and burned 270 calories. Not a bad way to get a workout!

Vitamin Regimen

I went to the Dr. today about my hormone imbalances and one of the things she did was put me on a vitamin regimen. I haven't been taking any vitamins lately, so I'm sure getting back on some will help with my energy levels! She suggested a B-Complex, plus additional B-12, D, Prenatal, and Calcium, and I used to take Omega-3, and that is fine. Because a couple of the vitamins overlap, I figured I should record somewhere what the amounts I'm getting are... The first value is from the prenatal multivitamin, the next is from another vitamin.

Vitamin A - 4,000 IU

Vitamin C - 100 mg + 150 mg + 6 mg = 256 mg

Vitamin D - 400 IU + 1000 IU + 200 IU = 1600 IU

Vitamin E - 11 IU + 1.5 IU = 12.5 IU

Thiamin - 1.5 mg + 100 mg = 101.5 mg

Riboflavin - 1.7 mg + 20 mg = 21.7 mg

Niacin - 18 mg + 25 mg = 43 mg

Vitamin B6 - 2.6 mg + 2 mg = 4.6 mg

Folic Acid - 800 mcg + 400 mcg = 1200 mcg

Vitamin B12 - 4 mcg + 15 mcg + 1000 mcg = 1019 mcg

Calcium - 200 mg + 200 mg = 400 mg

Iron - 27 mg

Zinc - 25 mg

Biotin - 30 mcg

Pantothenic Acid - 5.5 mg

Omega-3 - 200 mg

Phosphorus - 100 mg

Sodium - 10 mg

The vitamins that are tripled up on are C, D, and B12. B12 and C are water soluble, D is fat soluble, but the upper safe limit is 10,000 IU, so I think I'm safe there. =D Have to double check the doctors sometimes!!

Exercise

I did some exercise tonight, for the first time  in a LONG time, if you don't count aerial dance as exercise. 

You see, I set up a "desk" on my treadmill so I could put my computer and a notebook up here and I walked while listening to Meg's Pacesetters call. It was great! I got on the call a little early and we went a smidge long, so I ended up walking for a total of 80 minutes at 2 mph (any faster and I can't write or type well!) and burned 300 calories! It doesn't even put a dent in the comfort food spree from today, but at least it is exercise and is a start. Now if I only had a conference call every night! =D 

I'm hoping to make good use of my treadmill desk. 

Sore Back

Today I seem to be stuck in bed, suffering from an unusually sore back. I don't know what I did, but after only about an hour up and about (and not even active, at that!) I am back in bed, resting on a heating pad.

But really, I figured I would follow up with last week's post about Aerial Dance with something unusual that happened the day after class last week.

I wasn't sore.

Really.

Normally, I have a good class day, try new things, push myself because it's so fun, and then cannot move the next day. I am ALWAYS sore the day after, and for a couple days at least. Last week? Not sore. Not even a little. Crazy.

So we'll see what happens in 2 weeks when I am back for class. I'm excited that the fact that I wasn't sore means that maybe, just maybe, I am building muscle! Woohoo!

Now if only I could kick this new Chex Turtle "granola" bar habit that I have formed...

Giddy, Giddy, Giddy...

We had our last class of the series today in Aerial Dance. I am always SO GIDDY by the end of class! I start out all normal-like, and end up with a big ol' stupid grin plastered across my face! My endurance is building, as are my strength and flexibility, which just make class even more fun!

The best part is that the next session starts up in 2 weeks, so I don't even have to wait long in between sessions - I missed one last year, so the first was in January, the second was in May (?) and this was my third. Now I can just jump right into the 4th session and not even have to go through the first week of trying to remember how to do things!! I'm so excited!

Today, for the first time, I got myself up into a sitting position on the trapeze while "flying" (swinging back and forth) and did a series of poses while flying! It was so fun! I'm really looking forward to the next session and learning a lot more!

Now if I could only manage to do something during the week to continue to work on my flexibility and strength - that would be good, too. =D

I was feeling kind of discouraged...

Well, after a week of stand-still and then going up a little yesterday, I was feeling kind of discouraged yesterday. Especially after having 2 frou-frou coffees, a can of coke, and a cookie yesterday, too! But I stepped on the scale this morning and it told me.... 126.8! I'm officially down 9.2 lbs, which is nice. =D I've got lunch with Cheryl today, and we're going to Montana Ted's downtown. I'm excited about talking my business over with Cheryl and gaining some new focus for the new year. I did some math today, and if I want to make STAR this quarter, I just need to sell $50 a day for the next week and a half. I already have 3 appointments on the books for that time, which is great! I can do that!

I need to get back into the habit of drinking water. I've been slacking this week and it isn't good. I've also been bad about making dinner, and instead going for the quick fix solutions, which isn't good. I had chips and cheesy salsa for dinner the other night.... not good! So I need to be going back to deliberate choices when eating if I want to continue on the right track to lose this 30 lbs!

Ergh.

127.6 today. What's with the going backwards? I'm still at 8.5 lbs down. Of course, I haven't been exercising, so maybe it's time to start doing that. Hmmm.

Standing Still

Well, I'm still at 127.4. It's not bad. I haven't been drinking much water, so I think that plays into it. Leif and Eliana are both sick, and I'm not feeling so hot myself. Yesterday I slept from about 1-5, then went to bed around 9 and slept until 6, so I'm guessing I'm fighting off something, too. Thankfully, though, I'm not puking, like they are. But I'm taking it easy. I may not make it to that 10 lbs by Sept 1 after all, but we'll see what the scale says when I weigh in on Tuesday. In the meantime, I'm just trying to stay hydrated and eat responsibly. =D Let's hope that does it!

Lunch

I am having baked zucchini parmesan and some tomatoes for lunch with carbonated water. Yum!! (and healthy, too!)

Healthy Weight!!

See that ticker?

The one at the top of the page?

It says that my BMI is now 24.9.

Do you know what that means??

It means that I am officially within the HEALTHY WEIGHT RANGE for my height and frame!!

HOORAY!!!

Down to 127.4 today. 1.4 lbs to go to reach 10 lbs, but this was my first goal and I've met it!!

Almost palindromatic

8.2 22.8 =D

8.2 lbs down, 22.8 lbs to go... I weighed in at 127.8 today! If I can make it down another 1.8 lbs in the next 5 days, I'll be down 10 lbs in the first month! Hooray!

Weigh in for Biggest Loser

Weighed in at 128.4 this morning, which means I'm down 7.6 lbs in 3.5 weeks, or 5% of my body weight. That's about 2 lbs a week, which is a healthy rate of loss. So we have 12 weeks to the middle of November, and a little over 14 weeks to December 4th, when the contest ends. That puts me right on target if I keep losing at the rate I'm going, even a smidge ahead for the contest. I need to lose 23.4 lbs more.

Moderation.

Water.

Walking.

I really want to be down another 2 lbs by the end of the week. That would bring me to just about 10 lbs.

I've also considered running a 5K next month, and if I'm going to do that (which I'm not completely decided on) I need to start running again!

7 lbs down

Yesterday I had a garage sale (and today, too) and I decided to drink water and stand during the 3 hours of the sale, just to keep from being too lazy. =D And today I'm down in weight again! Hooray! I know they say just to weigh once a week, but weighing daily is so much more encouraging for me! I can see what's happening right away instead of wondering what I did over the course of a week to lose the weight. Right now drinking water and not spending oodles of time sitting on my bum seem to be key! So today I've passed the 7 lb weight loss mark and am at 128.8! I would be STOKED to lose 10 lbs by the end of the month! That would be 1/3 of the weight I need to lose.

Of course, I'm sitting down right now as I type, so I suppose it's time to get up and move!

That's more like it!

I weighed in on Tuesday when we got back from hiking.... and sure enough, I was up a pound! 131.6. Then I weighed in on Wednesday and I was up another pound! 132.6. Aaaack! So yesterday I didn't weigh and I just drank a lot of water, thinking that maybe that was part of the problem. 3 liters of water, to be exact. Sure enough, I weighed this morning and I'm back on track! Guess I was a bit dehydrated after walking 9 miles in 2 days earlier in the week!

So today's official weight is....

129.6!

I'm into the 120's!! WOOOHOOO! AND today is my MK anniversary AND exactly one month before my 30th birthday! I'm looking forward to looking better by my birthday and then continuing to look better in the months beyond!

Garage sale today and tomorrow... getting rid of a bunch of craft stuff and organizational stuff and household stuff. So hopefully my afternoon will not be sitting much!

Also, I bought 3 new shirts at Ross the other day - cute ones that are flattering to my figure. It seems that most of the shirts I've bought in the last year have been to hide the rolls in my midsection, but they apparently look like maternity clothes! So I got some better fitting ones that won't lead people to ask me if I'm pregnant. =D I'm wearing the first one today and another on Sunday. I'm excited! I'll have to take a picture. =D

Backpacking in the Crazies!

In just a couple hours, we will leave for a trip to go backpacking in the Crazy Mountains! It won't be the longest backpacking trip ever, since Ellie will be walking it herself, but i will have a pack on, and we will hike 3 miles in. =D Originally we were going to hike in yesterday and stay two nights, but the weather was supposed to be miserable. Of course, it wasn't, but we'd already changed our plans.

So... today we're hiking! Tomorrow we'll hike down. I'll weigh in again on Tuesday and I'm hoping to be under 130!

On a side note, I set up Wii Fit yesterday and played on it for the first time! It told me my Wii Age was 32. Considering I'll be 30 on September 21, I guess that's not too bad. But when I entered my height and weight, it made my Mii short and gave it a gut and told me I was overweight.  Waaaah! It said my target BMI ought to be 22. That's basically 18 lbs from where I am. So, it looks like....

healthy BMI upper limit = 127. That's 3 lbs from here.
Wii Fit target BMI = 22. That's 113 lbs.
Personal target weight = 105. That brings me to a BMI of 20.5.

So those are my goals. First is to get down to a healthy weight range. We'll see where I am when I come back from backpacking in the Crazies!!

130.4

How's that for a good number! I'm officially down 5 and a half pounds so far!

Working on updating the numbers in my weight loss journal today. I need to print out some pictures (namely a "before" picture - I was planning to use the Seminar Awards Night picture Susan Beth took of me) and actually get the book under way (weigh? ha ha - okay, bad joke), but I'm excited about the progress so far!

Moving Down...

Scale says 131.8 today. Hooray!

We ate at McDonald's last night for dinner (since I'd finally gotten the kitchen and upstairs cleaned and I didn't want to have more dishes!) so my eating wasn't the best, but I ate pretty well the rest of the day, so I think it was okay. And if the scale is any indication, it was!

My mom got us a Wii Fit for (early) Christmas, so I'm hoping to pull that out this week and start using it! Thanks, MOM!

Speaking of Mom... she leaves today to head back to Texas. =( We got a lot done while she was here, though, including cleaning, sorting, preparing for a garage sale (next weekend), and I lost over 4 lbs! I think it's great. =D

Today's weight...

Today I'm down to 132.4, which is great! I changed my ticker to reflect the loss, which is 3.6 lbs since I got back from Texas. Woohoo!

Sunday Weigh In

I weighed in the other day at 133.4 (I think), but accidentally posted it to the family blog (EEEK!) and in my haste to get it off there before the entire world knew my weight I deleted the post and was too shaken up to rewrite it. Ack!

So today I weighed and I'm at 132.8. Hooray!! I am trying to be moderate at Sweet Pea and it appears to be working! I started at 136, so I'm down 3.2 lbs in the last week and a half!

I walked to church this morning (had to be there early because I was playing keyboard for the worship team - another Ack! as it's been 6 years since I've played with a worship team and I was the sole instrument - no drums or guitars this week! Thankfully it went well and I didn't hinder people's worship with my playing!) and we just had pizza for lunch. Not the best health wise, but I opted for (aspartame) diet soda so at least I don't have those calories in there. 

So.... so far so good! Off to update my ticker!

Day 2

Stayed within my calorie zone AND I exercised yesterday. A short little walk with my mom and then a 30 minute bike ride with Leif. I think we're going to stroll around downtown today, so I will get some walking in then, which will be fun and good.

I'm still working on paring down my schedule for the Fall, and so far we're not doing Kindermusik and I'm not going to do our women's Bible Study at church. (Well, I'm still doing the Friday morning one, just not the other one, since I'm doing BSF, too.) I need to stop being so busy so that I am not stress / comfort eating all the time. Plus, I just need to be able to do my priorites well, instead of just doing a mediocre job at lots of things.

I weighed myself this morning and I'm at 134.4, so I'm down 1.5 lbs so far!

Day 1

I came home with 3 doughnuts today after Bible Study and not a one of them for me! =D I'm enjoying my black coffee and starting day 2 of my calorie tracking. I didn't exercise yesterday, but I did track my calories and stayed right around 1200. First day down.

Mom and I were talking about my need for comfort food and where it stems from. When I get too busy or get stressed, I eat. So.... I need to look carefully at what I'm putting on my plate (both literally and schedule-wise!) for the fall. I need to decide what is important and what is not. I'm not sure that will be a pleasant process, especially if it means pulling out of some activities and telling people "no," but it is an important one.

In the meantime, I am going to take baby steps toward where I should be.

1 lb gained

That's the result after my little trip to TX. Not exactly what I was hoping for. But today I'm back to tracking my food, drinking water, and hopefully exercising. My mom is here for 2 weeks, so that will (hopefully) help me keep myself on track. =D

Weekly Plan Sheet =D

It's not really my weekly plan sheet (though I need to get back to doing those - I've gotten horribly far away!), but it is my plan for the week. =D

Tonight - I'd like to go for a walk. I can't do anything about my day of eating now, but I can choose not to snack and just to drink water instead of pop if I want anything.

Sunday - Dinner: Crock Pot Roast Beef - Exercise: Walk to and from Church, Wii

Monday - Dinner: Spinach Pasta with Tomato Creme Sauce - Exercise: Hike with Ellie (though not with her in the pack! Maybe in the stroller...)

Tuesday - Flying to Dallas!! I'll eat dinner with my family somewhere (probably Whataburger or some other fast food place, but I'll try to pick a healthy option!) - Exercise: I'm calling all the walking around lugging my carry on, Ellie's carry on, my purse, Ellie, Ellie's stroller, and a car seat my exercise for this day. My downfall will be yummy frozen coffee drinks, so I'll need to do my best to order black coffee if I'm tempted.

Wednesday - SEMINAR! Dinner: I really have no control over dinner this week, other than to make wise decisions when they're in front of me! - Exercise: at the hotel

Thursday - SEMINAR! See above

Friday - SEMINAR! See above

Saturday - SEMINAR! I'll have dinner with my brother this night, because he's going to pick me up from the spa. =D I should opt for something healthy, though we usually head to Sonic. This will be another hard one, since I'm deprived of Sonics up here and they are just so darn tempting!

So... that's my game plan for this week. Once I'm at my parents' house in Texas, we'll see what exercise looks like. I might be swimming laps in the pool if it's too hot to walk! Mom said it's been 106 most days, and 102 in the shade. There's not much shade where we would walk! So... it might have to be laps. Maybe I'll get mom to TiVo some aerobics for me. =D

Game On!

Okay, SBB... The GAME IS ON! =D Here's my goal...

LOSE: 30 lbs.
BY: November 1, 2009

That gives me just over 3 months. That's 10 lbs a month (approximately). For 2 of those weeks, I'll be in Texas.

I just ate a boatload of kettle corn from the Farmer's Market, and I'm sitting here drinking a Pepsi. That's got to change. I haven't exercised in... how long? That's got to change.

LOTS of things have to change.

So... math again... (I know you probably think I'm crazy with all the math, but it really does help me think through whether my goal is feasible and what I need to do to get there.)

30 lbs = 105,000 calories (sheesh!)
16 weeks to lose 105,000 calories = 6,570 calories per week (approximately)
6,570 weekly calories = 940 daily calories

So... I could keep eating the way that I do and dance for 3 hours a day (Hey! That sounds like fun!) or run at 6.5 mph for 2 hours a day (That sounds HARD...) or walk at 5 mph for 4 hours (That sounds like a couple of movies a day worth of walking) or I could strap Ellie to my back and hike to Lava Lake every day.

OR

I suppose I could reign in what I'm eating and make some better choices there. Quit with the Pepsi (or two) a day habit that's formed since I asked Leif to get me a soda at Costco and he came out with a case of sodas. I meant the $0.55 soda from the food court... I could stop eating the cupcakes I make for Eliana's birthday parties, or at least leave it at one cupcake. I could go back to drinking black coffee and quit with the yummy sugar coffee drink that I love so much, or at least save it for a special occasion.

Okay... back to the math.

My BMT is 1375.
If we assume that I'm eating 2,000 calories a day (well, just for math's sake, let's change that to 1,800), then I can easily drop that to, say 1500, just by keeping track. That saves me 300 calories in eating. At that rate I only need to drop 640 calories a day. Dropping to 1200 calories (my bare minimum amount, but what I always seem to go back to and can easily do) takes me to 440 calories a day.

I can burn 440 calories on the Wii with not too much trouble. That's doable.

So... can I do it every day? That's the question. How do I keep from getting burned out?

30 min. step aerobics would get me almost halfway there.
Hiking with a 10 lb load for an hour would get me there.
2 hours of housework would get me there.
Jogging for 30 minutes would almost get me there.
Jumping rope for 30 minutes would get me close.
Walking 3.5 mph for 45 minutes would get me about halfway there.

SO... I need to make a game plan, I guess. Plan to do something each day, but not necessarily the same thing. =D

Whew! 30 lbs is going to be a stretch.

If I take up running again, and run MWF, that basically takes care of 3 days. If we make a point to hike one day each weekend and I take a pack full of water and other things, that would take care of a day. If I Wii a couple days, and then do aerobics plus walking one day, that could get me through a week.

I just need to do it.

So... here we go, SBB. I'm game.

BRING IT ON.

My sinful indulgence

... just became a little less sinful! =D Here I thought I'd been consuming aspartame in my yummy sugar free jello cups, and I just found out that they are sweetened with Splenda. Hooray!

Still going...

I didn't need my 2nd snack yesterday (and actually, ended up eating the almonds with dinner instead of as an afternoon snack) and I stuck with the diet all day! Whew! I have to admit that I do feel a TON better physically when I am on this diet. It's sort of odd. Really, it makes sense given my blood sugar issues, but I've struggled with them for so long that it's weird to change my diet and have them pretty much just GO AWAY. Anyway...

Today I've had...

Breakfast:
2 eggs
coffee with sugar free creamer

Lunch:
chicken salad wrap

Snack:
2 squares dark chocolate

Dinner:
Tonight is Protocol, so I'll have a fairly regular dinner, but it's Salad, Chicken Cordon Bleu, Carrots, Potatoes, and Cheesecake. The carrots and potatoes are definitely on the no-no list, as is the breading on the chicken, but I will probably eat them anyway for the event. Maybe not all of them, but I'm hoping the fat and protein in the chicken will help balance them out in my bloodstream. We'll see.

 

Struggling with sugar...

I am really struggling with what I can only describe as an addiction to sugar. Cutting out sugar and carbs is hard! I can live without the bread, but it appears that I cannot live without the sweets. I did fine for a week, and then I fell off the wagon for 2 days. And not just a little. So in attempt to hold myself accountable, I am going to record what I eat. At least today. Hopefully tomorrow and the days after that, but one day at a time. =D

I made lunch and dinner ahead today, and I've planned out my snacks, so I'm hoping that will help keep me on track. Afternoon seems to be my worst time. So today...

Breakfast:
*Coffee with sugar free creamer
*2 scrambled eggs

Snack:
*String cheese (1)
*a few bites of chicken salad

Lunch:
*Tomato
*Lettuce (2 Romaine leaves)
*Chicken salad
*8 green olives
*Peas

Afternoon Snack:
*15 almonds
*String cheese (1) - if I need a second snack to tide me until dinner

Dinner:
*Chicken Tortilla Soup (minus the tortilla chips for me)

Dessert:
*?

Maybe I'll have time to make a little more sugar free jello. If not, I can have a couple squares of dark chocolate, and maybe Leif will make coffee to go with it. =D

Almost a week into South Beach

and guess how much weight I've lost so far?

1 lb.

Maybe. That could just be regular old weight fluctuation. *sigh* As far as I can tell I've been following the diet. I had my 2 tiny bites of creme brulee, but that shouldn't make a big difference. I haven't been cheating. I've even been eating vegetables. Have I sabotaged  myself by not counting out the almonds? I eat about a handful in the afternoon, or a bit of peanut butter, but I didn't think I was being excessive with either.

So... we'll see if next week is better. This first phase is supposed to be the big weight loss phase, and then the weight loss continues but is slower in phase 2. I'm not sure how much slower it can get at this rate!

Over the Tapas!

Tonight I had a girls night with some friends. It was wonderful! And, like every good girls night, it included lots of food! We met at Cheryl's house for food and wine to begin with, then we walked downtown for dessert at Over the Tapas! We got a bunch of desserts and we all shared them.

But you know what? I am on the South Beach Diet. No sugar. No carbs.

So I enjoyed a glass of cold water while my friends had wine and food. And then I had 2 cups of coffee and 2 BITES (not the big ones, either!) of lavender creme brulee. It was heavenly! I had a wonderful time with the girls, and we laughed and talked and shared stories... and I didn't feel like I needed to inhale sugar to enjoy the evening!

For once I really didn't feel like I'd missed out. I don't feel bad about the two small bites of creme brulee I had. The first I took part of the sugary crust, but I didn't even do that on the second bite. I just enjoyed the subtle flavor of the dessert without feeling deprived. It was pretty nice. And because I had my coffee to sip on, I didn't even feel the need to take some of the chocolate cake, vanilla almond cake, cheesecake, or berry torte that everyone else was raving about.

Satisfaction. It's a beautiful thing.

(Of course, so is creme brulee and coffee...)

A yummy beverage to satisfy my indulgent sweet tooth....

I picked up some stuff at Rosauers today so that I'd have food  to eat that didn't fall in the carb category. While I was there I found some yummy sounding teas, so I grabbed those too. Expensive, but a nice alternative to juice or wine or any other sugar laden drink. I also picked up some sugar-free Vanilla Caramel Coffee-mate. So here's the uber yummy virtually carb free beverage of choice for this afternoon:

Tahitian Vanilla Hazelnut Tea + Vanilla Caramel Creamer.

Pretty much all I have to say is, "Mmmmm...."

SBD: day 1

I had no idea how much sweet stuff I crave.

Seriously.

I had green beans, I had canadian bacon, I had eggs, I had pickles. I had pecans. I had lentils. Tonight I'm having chicken. Loads of protein. Some veggies. I'll eat veggies with dinner, too. Turns out I can't eat most of the veggies I usually eat during the first 2 weeks of the plan. No carrots. No sweet potatoes. No peas. Limited onions. Limited nuts.

Pretty much nothing sweet.

We'll see if I can make it through the next 2 weeks. It will definitely be hard. I did break down and drink 2 Tbsp cocoa powder (which, I think, is fine because it doesn't have any sugar in it) and 1 Tbsp Splenda in hot water to give me something sort of sweet to drink. It wasn't too bad. =D And it just might hold me until dinner.

I'm going to have to make some chicken salad, though. That's for sure.

Today I start south beaching it

Well, I think I'm going to start with the South Beach Diet today. I found a list of foods online, since I didn't get the book from my friend yesterday. I will call her today and see if I can pick it up, but the online list of foods approved for the first phase is helpful. Basically, proteins and vegetables. For the next 2 weeks. I think I can do that. =D

It's Monday, which makes for a good weigh day. I'm weighing in at an even...

132.

*GASP*
*CHOKE*
*SPUTTER*

I think it's a good time to get on some sort of routine, because I now officially weigh 1 lb more than I did when I started trying to lose weight! I knew it was getting close. I'm pretty disappointed in myself. But instead of complaining I'm just going to grit my teeth and eat some protein and veggies. And enjoy the Mexican food and barbecue and Whataburger I had in Texas, because I won't be having any more of that for a while!

Back on the trapeze

I'm back to taking aerial dance classes. First one today of the new session. I almost didn't go. I'm glad I did, though, because I forgot how much I really enjoy it! I love it!

South Beach...

Well, I found a friend who has the South Beach Diet book and is willing to lend it to me. So I think when I get back from TX I will try that.

I've never done a "diet" before, only ever watched my calories and exercised. So... I'm sort of skeptical. But I'm willing to give it a shot once. And from what I've heard, South Beach is one of the better ones to try if I'm going to try it.

Mostly I'm just sick of micromanaging right now. Sick of counting every little calorie. Sick of weighing every gram. I want guidelines I can follow without obsessing.

So... perhaps we'll try the South Beach Diet when I get back.

But while I'm in TX, I'm just going to enjoy the wealth of Mexican food we don't have here. ;D

An answer!!

Well, I got an answer from the bloodwork I had done this week. Turns out my progesterone levels are dropping off prematurely each cycle, and it looks like that's why we're not getting pregnant!

Hooray! An answer!

And if that's really the problem, it's simple enough to fix with a progesterone pill. What a relief!

Now, I'm still down to only one tube, but perhaps this will mean that I'm back to a 50% chance of getting pregnant each month. =D

Calorie Tracking... Day 3

Well, I'm 3 days into tracking calories and I've been within 15 calories of 1200 all 3 days now! I'm sticking pretty closely with the food pyramid, too, though I don't eat that many grains. 6-11 servings of grain a day! I'm more like 3-4 with 6-8 of fruits and veggies.

I haven't been getting much in the way of exercise, but I have been trying to make a point of walking around or standing during the day, more than sitting. So I think that counts for something. ;)

All in all the transition back to the world of calorie counting has not been bad so far. Usually day 3 is the worst for me, and all I want to do is eat. Today that wasn't the case so much, and whenever I wanted to eat something, I'd reach for a fruit or vegetable, which was great!

So... I guess this means I'm at step one of making this goal a reality. Today I weighed in at 128. Not the best, but it could be worse, I guess. That leaves me with 15 weeks (pretty much exactly) to lose 18 lbs.

*gulp* Here we go!

Chicken Lasagna

I made up a new recipe tonight. =D I never used to make up recipes, but lately it seems I have been. Just look in the cupboard and see what I've got, then throw it together and it becomes something! Ha ha! Tonight it became Chicken Lasagna, and it turned out REALLY good! And not only does it taste good, but it's high in vitamin A (because I added pumpkin puree) and it's low calorie, too! Here are the general nutrition stats:

• Calories: 224.7

• Total Fat: 9.5 g
• Cholesterol: 80.1 mg
• Sodium: 589.1 mg
• Total Carbs: 12.3 g
• Dietary Fiber: 2.2 g
• Protein: 21.4 g

Have I mentioned that I love sparkrecipes.com? I love it! Here's the full recipe, with all the additional nutrition information, too. And here's how it's done...

Ingredients

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts 6 cloves garlic 2 15-oz cans tomato sauce 1 C. pumpkin or squash puree 1 C. water 1/2 C. white wine 2 T. Italian seasoning 2 T. dried onion 1 T. basil 1 T. oregano 1 T. onion powder 1/2 T. garlic powder 1/2 T. marjoram 2 C. shredded mozzarella cheese 2 eggs 1/2 C. sour cream Whole wheat lasagna noodles

Directions

Cut up chicken and put it in a saucepan with the garlic (chopped) and wine over medium/high heat. Cook until chicken is done.
While the chicken is cooking, mix together tomato sauce, pumpkin puree, water, and seasonings. When the chicken is done cooking, add the tomato sauce mixture to the saucepan and stir to mix over low heat. Let heat through.
While the tomato sauce is heating, mix mozzarella, sour cream, and eggs.
In a 9x13 pan, put a thin layer of spaghetti sauce on the bottom and a layer of dry lasagna noodles on top of that. Add a layer of cheese on top of the noodles. Repeat layers. Finish with a layer of spaghetti sauce sprinkled with a little cheese.
Cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes. Uncover and bake for 10 minutes more.
Makes 12 servings.

Doing the Math...

I can't set a goal without informing myself, so here I am, AGAIN, doing math.

(For someone who really doesn't like math, I sure seem to do a lot of it!)

IF I were to set a weight loss goal, I would want to lose the weight by our family reunion in July. And if I'm going to lose the weight by the end of July, I really ought to just plan to lose the weight by Seminar. =D So... my weight loss deadline would be July 15.

July 15... that gives me... about 15 weeks to lose some weight.

At 1 lb a week, that would be 15 lbs, and that would put me at approximately 115 lbs.

That would be good. I would be happy with that. I would be even happier with 110 lbs, though, so let's just aim for 110, since this is all hypothetical. Shall we? =D

So... to lose 20 lbs in 15 weeks, I will need to dispose of 70,000 calories. Wow. That's a lot of calories! Okay... so, 70,000 calories over 15 weeks is... 4666 calories a week. Let's just round that to 4700 calories per week. That means I need to somehow get rid of 671 (rounded down to 670) calories per day. On average, I burn approximately 1350 calories, just by being alive every day. The actual number is 1366.something, but I rounded down for simplicity sake. So... I burn approximately 1600 calories daily, between being alive and living a fairly sedentary life. I could easily up that number to 1800 calories a day, just by being a little more active around the house and sitting less. But for now we'll stick with 1600 calories. So.... I need to somehow rid myself of 670 (or 700, for numbers' sake) calories a day. If I eat 1200 calories a day, that takes that number down to 300. That means I need to burn 300 calories a day through exercise.

Goal: lose 20 lbs
Deadline: July 15
Calories/Week: 4700
Calories/Day: 700
BMR: 1350
Daily Calorie Expenditure: 1600
Calorie Intake/Day: 1200
Calories Burned through Exercise/Day: 300

I seem to always come up with the same answer, every time I want to lose weight. 1200 calories, burn 300 every day. I guess it's good the formula works each time, but somehow I always think it will come out differently. =D Silly me.

So... if I eat 1200 calories a day and burn 300 through exercise, it IS possible for me to lose 20 lbs by the middle of July. That's good to know.

Now, the question is... do I want to?

Commitment....

I've been about as committed to losing weight and living an active, healthy life as I have about blogging it.

My efforts have been sporadic at best, and I will start my days with the best of intentions on the food front, only to find myself with a handful of skittles as I'm headed to bed a 10:30.

As I said before, I've been contemplating joining a gym, despite the additional cost of doing so. But I've come to a realization this last week... If I am not committed to doing it at home with the equipment I have here, what makes me think I am going to be committed to going someplace else and working out?

The bottom line is that if it's really important to me I will make it a priority and let go of all the excuses I let get in my way. And I do have a LOT of excuses. But the fact that I keep using them tells me that I have NOT made weight loss and healthy living a priority, so if I want to make a change, it's not the workout location that ought to change, but my attitude and commitment level towards this goal of mine.

And if it's not a goal of mine right now, then I need to take it off the table and quit putting mental energy towards it.

So... what is it going to take for me to be committed?? A deadline? An exercise plan? An eating plan? A support group? Therapy?? (Ha ha! Okay, I was just kidding on that last one.) What am I afraid of? A lot of the things I learned at Career Conference apply to all areas of my life, including this one. "Do what scares you, and then it won't." What am I afraid of? Exercising and being uncomfortable doing it? Setting a goal and failing at it? Being called fat at the family reunion? (Oh yes, this last one is true!!) If it's about failing at my goal, then I just need to remember that "Attitude + Action = Achievement" If I put for the effort, with the right attitude, then I can let go of the results, because I have done what I need to. Let go of the number on the scale and just do what I said I would do. I need to be a "Woman of my Word" and follow through when I set a goal! If I say that I'm going to drink 2 liters of water today, I need to drink 2 liters of water today. Period. I must be true to my word, even if my word is only to myself. I must recommit daily, not just commit today and think that I will feel the same way in a week, forcing myself to live out a commitment I made a while back and forgot about. I need to make sure I am committed TODAY. Every day. And if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well, with all my heart. I don't have to exercise 24/7, but if I say I'm going to exercise for 30 minutes, I need to give it my absolute ALL for those 30 minutes. I need to be true to my word, not trying to cut corners.

I have not been committed to weight loss. But I think it's time I am.

And I'll admit, committing to weight loss scares me, because what if I fail? What if I don't make it? What if my grandmother calls me fat?!

But if I do what scares me, then it will stop scaring me. So I'm going to commit. I am committed. Not to you, or to the scale, or to my grandmother, but I am committed TO ME, for me, to do what I say I am going to do when it comes to eating right and exercising and doing what I know I need to do in order to lose the weight.

So here it is, my commitment...

I, Elizabeth Wickland, am committed to being a woman of my word. I am committed NOT to set a goal until I am willing to give it my all to achieve it. An when I do set a goal, I commit to myself to do what needs to be done to accomplish that goal.

I am officially an infertility patient...

I don't really know what to say about it, except that it's true. I've sort of known this day was coming since we've been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years now, but I've been putting off the appointment making and whatnot. However, at my annual last month my Dr. sent my file over to the infertility treatment coordinator, and I've now had an appointment with her, so I guess it's official.

We're not really going to do much about it, but it has meant a couple extra Dr. appointments and some extra bloodwork. But I suppose I should start documenting some of the results so I can follow my own progress, too.

As a side note, Leif suggested the other day that I would be a good accountant. I thought he was mocking me since I stink at numbers, but he was actually complimenting me on my compulsive documentation of things. I guess I am a compulsive documenter, but I don't feel very organized when I do. Hence, I blog.

So... a month ago my Dr. called in some day 3 labs to be drawn, and decided to do a complete workup just to keep in my file. Here are the results (that I can find... I'll have to come back in and edit the information as I come across it or call back for the info from the Dr.) from that:

2/14/2009
Estradiol: 85 (for good fertility, they like to see this number under 50)
FSH: _____ (Good)
*TSH: 1.4 (Very Good)

2/17/2009
**Triglycerides: _____ (Good)
**LDH: _______ (Good)
**HDH: _______ (Good)

Because my Estradiol level was high in February, my Dr. wanted to repeat the day 3 labs and do an ultrasound to see what was going on. Basically, as far as I understand it, there are two reasons the estradiol could be high without the others being elevated.

1. Cyst - a cyst could elevate the estradiol level without really impacting my fertility. I guess cysts come and go, so having the tests redone could confirm a cyst the month before and none now.

2. Not enough follicles - I could be running out of eggs and follicles, though since I'm still in my 20's she was hoping this wasn't the case. There's not much you can do once you run out of eggs.

So... I went to the Dr. on March 13 to chat and have an ultrasound. What I learned from the ultrasound is that...

1. I don't currently have a cyst, which is good. That means a cyst wouldn't cause abnormal hormone fluctuations for the blood test.

2. I have plenty of follicles! I'm not running out of eggs, which is encouraging. The Dr. said she likes to see a total of 10 follicles between the two ovaries and I have at least 10 on each side, so I'm good. Whew!

The next day I went in to draw day 3 labs again and here are the results:

3/14/2009
Estradiol: 41 (should be under 50)
FSH: _______ (Good)

So... things are good in that department!

Another concern I have had, and this I cannot trace back to the tube removal as a result of the ectopic pregnancy, is that my luteal phase has been getting shorter. So, there is a chance that I have been getting pregnant those couple months that I actually ovulated on the correct side, but that my progesterone level wasn't high enough to support the pregnancy, so it never had a chance to implant and grow. My cycles used to be very consistently 34 days. Every time. With a 15 day luteal phase. The last few times I charted, though, my luteal phase was only 9-11 days. 10 is the bare minimum needed to support a pregnancy, so that is a concern. I haven't been charting for some time now, but based on when I had my day 3 labs drawn the last 2 months, my last cycle was only 28 days. That's short for me, so I'm guessing I had another short luteal phase.

So... right now I'm back to charting. That part is just for my own tracking (there's that documentation obsession again!) so I can keep tabs on what's going on. I'm also using OPK's at the Dr.'s request since that's what they use to track ovulation. I'm going to go in for more blood work at 5,7, and 9 days past my LH surge to track my progesterone levels and see if they are low or drop off at the end. That should tell me if that's what's causing the shortened luteal phase. So... charting, more bloodwork. That's pretty much it.

My Dr. recommended going on Clomid to stimulate ovulation, but I have had pretty nasty side effects (weight gain! and emotional psychosis!) on hormones, so I don't want to do that. Aside from the side effects, I'm not ready to try to force my body to do something it's not supposed to be doing on its own. And I'm pretty sure if God doesn't want us to have any more kids right now, going on Clomid isn't going to help. =D So... getting to the root of the problem and fixing what's wrong I'm okay with. Trying to force something I'm not.

I'm charting on fertility friend. And hopefully Ellie won't steal my thermometer this month so I can actually get an accurate record. And I'll be recording other random (not what goes on my chart, just Dr. appts and blood work results, etc.) here. It's body clutter, right? Or at least mental clutter that has to do with my body...

Officially Overweight

Well, pooh. I just noticed that my BMI is up to 25 (because I updated my ticker) and that is in the officially overweight range. Not by much, and if I drop at all I'll be back within the "healthy" range, but I hate to be that close!

128...

... and that's progress! Maybe not much progress, but at least some! I've been here for 2 days, which is good and stable. =D

I realized that I've been seriously lacking in the fresh fruits and veggies department for the last couple months. Things haven't been in season so I haven't been buying them. Instead I've been munching on other things which are wholly unhealthy for me, both physically and emotionally. So the other day at Costco I stocked up on fresh fruits and veggies. Celery, lettuce, carrots, apples, strawberries (even if they were about twice as expensive as I like to pay in the summer), bananas... Now I'm pretty much in fresh fruit and veggie heaven. And I have been eating them, too! Turns out I am much happier that way. Go figure!

129 and holding...

... at least I haven't broken 130.

Today I did better on the food front. I've got to do something, because my pants are starting to fit me like I'm pregnant.... and I'm not.

Stupid shrinking pants....

I'm not doing well

The eating has been BAD.

The exercise has been nonexistent.

I still haven't joined the gym.

I'm staring at some chocolate right now thinking it would make a good breakfast.

I'm scared to weigh in.

That's pretty much the sum of it. If I'm brave today (since I haven't eaten yet) I might weigh in.

Might.

Holy Moly!

I don't know what is different or what changed, but when I got on the scale this morning it spat the number 129 back at me!

WAAAAAHHHHH!

Maybe that gym membership isn't such a bad idea! =( I wish I could say it was muscle and that muscle weighs more than fat, but my jeans are tight, too, so I know that's not the case. Sigh.

Why do I have such a hard time keeping up with an exercise/eating regimen? It really shouldn't be that hard, you know. BUT... enough negativity and on to the positive. I got up early this morning to do some stuff, and I did yoga! It was actually Ellie's idea, which I thought was funny. She said, "Mommy, let's do this:" and then proceeded to transition perfectly from plank to cobra to downward facing dog. It cracked me up! And who can say no when asked to exercise or stretch by a 2 year old?

So I did 3 repetitions of the sun salutation. I haven't been doing it lately, and I've noticed my flexibility getting worse (even worse than it was!) over the last month that I've quit. So... maybe if I start up again I will become a little more flexible. My back has just been really tight.

After the yoga Ellie and I went for a dip in the hot tub. That's a pretty relaxing start to the morning! So far I've had a pretty productive morning and I'm hoping to extend that throughout the day. I've had water, but I haven't eaten yet, so I should go do that now. And record my calories while I'm at it.

Gym Memberships

I am considering getting a gym membership to Gold's Gym. I still need to look into it some more, but working out at home without having someone else watch Ellie is just not working. My friend June goes to Gold's and really has good things to say about it. Plus they are one of the more reasonably priced gyms with reasonable child care. Important stuff.

Anywho, that's what I'm milling around in my head right now. I just finished up my aerial dance class and the next session doesn't start up until the end of the month. I think I'll sign up for the next session, too. I've really enjoyed it and seen a big difference in what I'm able to do just in 4 weeks. It's pretty cool!

Make a Deal with DQ

Dear Dairy Queen,

For as long as I can remember your Blizzards have been comfort to me. There was always one waiting for me on the last 5 mile stretch of a long summer trip home. They always stuck in the cup, even when turned upside down, even in the Texas summer heat, except for that one time. My favorite was always Butterfinger, and I rarely deviated from that choice. It was like heaven in a cup.

Sadly, though, what gave me comfort in my childhood gave me hips as an adult! Blizzards are a rare treat these days, especially living in a frozen northern state where the DQ is closed for several months of the year! But oh, when I crave a Blizzard, there is nothing that can compare.

After years of cutting back, of denying myself, and of trying to find substitutes while I'm dieting, I'm ready to cut a deal with you, Dairy Queen. I'm ready to get my priorities straight and set my resolve to count calories. And, if by some stroke of luck, you find it in your heart to bestow upon me a supply of free food from your humble establishment, I am ready to count those calories from a Blizzard. Or onion rings. Or a chicken wrap. Or a cheeseburger. Or a small sundae... Oh, now I'm hungry! Thank you, Dairy Queen, for making me lose my train of thought. Now, where was I? Oh yes... I am ready to make a deal with you. If you provide me with free food, I will make sure I have enough calories in my diet to indulge and enjoy. I will make Dairy Queen part of my diet. I will savor every bite. Enjoy every morsel. Make every calorie count.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth


P.S. - I have encouraged my friends to make their own deal with you, Dairy Queen, and I have notified them that there is free food at stake.

124 and sore...

That was me yesterday. Actually, I've been at 124 for a couple days. We did twice as much work on the trapeze on Saturday, so I was EXTRA sore yesterday. Like sit in the hot tub, take ibuprofin and I STILL couldn't move my arms sore. But that means I got a good workout, right?

We've got one more week of the aerial class. I'm still really enjoying it, though I'm realizing I need to beef up my abs to do it well. Still, in the 4 classes I've taken, I can see a HUGE improvement in both my abs and my arms. That impresses me, because I never see that sort of improvement in 4 workouts! So... I might have to continue doing this just for the results. ;D I think Cathy's going to have another free workshop and then start up some new classes at the end of March and into April. I need to figure out if I'm going to TX or not to see if that will work for my schedule, but I'd love to take the beginner class again.

Anyway... Calorie counting is not going so well. And today? Well, today eating is not going so well. I think all I've had to eat today is the better portion of a box of girl scout cookies. Sigh. But they were oh so good! =D

Still, I see a walk on the treadmill (or outside if the wind will die down) and some sit ups in my future...

I woke up early this morning...

My friend Kate challenged me to start waking up at 5am to get more things done in the day. So this morning, I woke up early! I didn't quite make it up at 5, when my alarm went off, but Kate gave me a call at 5:30 to see if I was up and I did roll out of bed then. So I've been up for a little over an hour now. I started my morning with some time in the Word, which I haven't done in a long time. It is such an important part of my day, and yet it seems to be the first thing that gets dropped. It's also, I'm pretty sure, a big part of how my day goes, since my focus tends to be better aligned with God's plan for my life when I start out my day talking to Him. Anyway, it was good to start out the day that way.

So now I've read my Bible and blogged my thoughts on the reading today (somehow thinking "out loud" helps my thoughts be a little more focused just after I wake up in the morning!) and I've got 100 calories under my belt for breakfast. I figured I'd try recording my calories again. I haven't been very consistent (with anything in my life lately, sadly), but today is a new day, right? I'm starting up again. So we're 100 calories and 1 WW point into the day and I'm going to go tackle the treadmill for a while.

It's amazing just how quiet the house is before everyone else gets up. I hope I can keep this early morning routine going.

What the heck?!

I have exercised 3 times in the last week. I don't think I have overeaten that much. I certainly have not had as much water, but I've tried to drink fluids since I wasn't eating much while I was sick. So why, WHY, when I stepped on the scale today am I 128.6???? That's up over 4 lbs in less than 2 weeks!

Exercise...

So the Aerial Dance workshop on Saturday... it was fun!! I definitely need to be in better shape to do well with it, but I enjoyed it! I enjoyed it enough that I enrolled in a beginner class, so I'll be doing that every Saturday in February. Who'd have thunk?

And... while we're on the topic of crazy things I did this weekend... I got up this morning and ran! It's been 6 months since I've run (I mean, AT ALL), but I decided just to get on and give it my best, so after a 5 minute warm up walk I started running... and didn't stop for 15 minutes! That's right... I ran 15 minutes straight (about a mile and a half) after not running at all for 6 months! Crazy! But exhilarating at the same time, so I hope I can keep up with it now that I've gotten that first dreaded run out of the way.

So... that's my weekend. I'm excited about running and doing aerial dance this month and hoping to get in better shape that way. I just need to work on my abs so I can roll up ONTO the trapeze without needing assistance by the end of the class. Ha ha! How's that for a goal?

124.4

I was down to 124.4 this morning. Hooray! Of course, that's 10 lbs over what I was at my smallest a year and a half ago, but I'm happy to see the numbers under 125! They were at 127.6 last week, so that's a great thing to see!

Calories... I'm watching, but not "counting" per se. I count for the first part of the day and then just estimate towards the end. I stay within my calorie range and think I'm at the low end at the end of the day.

Exercise... is still hit and miss, but I'm making a point to go up and down the stairs as many times as possible today. =D

My name is Elizabeth...

... and I'm still here.

I haven't died (thank goodness!)

I've just been super busy.

But I am here, and I have been plugging away. I went to the Dr. last week, and they weighed me. Ack! I go back in a few weeks for some blood tests (everything's okay, don't worry =D) and I'm planning to lose some weight in case they weigh me again! =D That's motivation for me!

I'm still struggling with getting exercise in. But I've been working on doing yoga most mornings and improving my flexibility, which has been beneficial. It doesn't take long, doesn't take any equipment, and I can do it anywhere in the house, so that's helped me do it. For some reason I'm really tight today, though, and I don't know what's up with that. But I'm doing better, and that's what counts! I can touch my toes again!! (And can I just say, and I'm sorry if you're one of these people, that people who are naturally flexible and think touching your toes is nothing impressive because they never stretch and can bend over and grab the bottoms of their feet are annoying??! Touching my toes is huge, people, even if I AM only 5 feet tall! It's something I have to work at! - rant over.)

I guess the big news right now is that I'm taking an "aerial dance" workshop on Saturday and might join in an aerial dance class depending on how the workshop goes! I think it sounds like the coolest thing, and it's a new studio one of my friends is opening up. And hey... if I can expand my horizons AND get in better shape doing it, why not, right? We'll see. I've always wanted to learn how to use a trapeze!

So... that's where things are. Busy. Not crazy, but busy enough that my poor little bloglife has been neglected. My weightloss plans have slowed, but are still there, being plugged away at, and my craft life is nonexistent. We haven't even been leaving the house much, which is weird. And yet I seem to be busy all day long (thanks in large part to a little girl with whom I'm trying to spend more time lately), but it's good. We're getting some good routines into place that I think will make life run a whole lot smoother once the rest of life falls into place. I'm taking babysteps to get there and it's slow moving, but hopefully will have lasting effects instead of the instant change that falls apart and is reclaimed by chaos in a short amount of time. I hope so, at least!

*nervous laugh*

Well, remember how I was going to do the SP boot camp and start running? Well, last week was very busy and I didn't do either! Really, except for snowshoeing with Eliana on my back one day, I haven't done much in the way of dedicated exercise. Some stretching, and a day of DDR, but I was just plain busy last week and didn't get much of ANYTHING done! In fact, my goal for today is just to get my Christmas decorations down and put away finally. It's the middle of January for peet's sake! So... I am working on finding a time that I can consistently exercise. Obviously waking up before Ellie is not working, and I'm having a REALLY hard time finding time in the day while she's here doing it. She wants me to spend most of the day playing with her and interacting, and I haven't been able to incorporate her into my workout routine very well yet. But I'm still working on it.

On the plus side, I weighed myself and I'm down to 124.6 from 126.2, so even without counting calories (which I just can't commit to right now) and exercising I've lost a lb and a half. That's encouraging!

So... I'm working on scheduling in exercise time this week. I think that's the best place to start. After that I can really get down to the numbers, but first I just have to find the time to exercise!

Boot Camp

Starting Sunday I'm going to be participating in Spark People's New You Bootcamp. It's 4 weeks of daily workouts, plus your own 30 minutes of exercise each day. And there are bonus challenges along the way. It starts Sunday, but to give us a heads up Coach Nicole posted the first day's workout and challenge already. It's a 10 minute kickboxing workout, which might be fun. No 30 minute cardio workout on Sunday, so the kickboxing covers it for cardio and strength training. As for the bonus challenge...

Your Bonus Challenge for Day 1 (optional) is to update your SparkPage or Blog with your starting stats--such as "before" photos, your goals for the month, what you hope to accomplish during Bootcamp, or any other measurements. This way, when you complete the Bootcamp you'll have a reminder of where you started and the progress you've made.

I knew it had to happen sometime... My "before" picture is still from when I was 131 in May before Eliana turned 1! And my "after" picture is from September of that same year... I guess I need a new "before" picture to keep me motivated since I have put back on a lot of that weight! So I'm going to be working toward that bonus challenge for the weekend. I weighed this morning (it was higher than I expected, too, which was not encouraging!) and took my measurements, so I'll post them at the same time. It'll be interesting to see if those measurements change in a month's time after the bootcamp.

(As I'm typing this, I realize that it sounds like I'm adding a lot to my exercise plate here... running, yoga, bootcamp... the truth is that my running will be my 30 minutes of cardio 3x a week, the yoga/stretching is really just a few minutes in the morning and nothing too serious, and the bootcamp fits right along with my goals, so I will only be doing their exercises and not my own in addition. It all goes together and should be nice having someone else telling me what to do... like when I took classes at the gym!)

Sun Salutation

When I had a membership at The Ridge, I attended a yoga class every Friday evening. It was so relaxing and a great way to stretch and become more flexible. I loved ending the work week like that!

In an effort to increase my flexibility again, I am trying to incorporate stretching into my daily routine. I don't know that I will do a lot of yoga, but I do like doing the Sun Salutation in the morning. It's easy, invigorating, stretching, and I found a great little animation to follow as I do it!

So... I did my stretching / yoga this morning. I'm counting Pilates as stretching, too, so I'll alternate between Pilates and Yoga in the morning. If I keep it up it's a great way to start the morning!

Back on track!

Here I am, back on track, tracking my calories again. It's a new year and a new start and it's been a good day!

Of course, I've been starving all day, but that's just the lack of holiday junk food talking. The first day back tracking calories is always the hardest. Tomorrow will be hard, but easier than today. And if I can make it past 3 days of calorie counting, I'm golden. The it just becomes... routine. And really, I like it once it gets to be routine. I don't feel hungry, it doesn't take long for me to remember what a "normal" portion size is like, and my food scale and I become best buds again. It's great. Once I get past these first 3 days.

But the good news is that I drank a ton of water trying to curb my munchy hunger. It didn't really help with the hunger, but it kept me busy and I logged about 3 liters of water today. That's good news for someone with a pop addiction! Of course, it helps that we got a carbonator over Christmas, so I can drink fizzy water now. It helps curb the pop craving and it doesn't have any additives, extra salt, or artificial sweeteners! It's my new favorite thing.

I managed to get up this morning and do Coach Nicole's 12 minute Pilates ab workout, followed by 45 minutes on the treadmill (at 3.5 mph at 3% incline, for a 355 calorie workout), and I even tossed in 12 "real" push ups for good measure. Mostly I tossed those in to see how many sequential "real" push ups I could do. 12's the limit it seems. I'd like to build that number up. But that's not the point right now...

The point is that at the end of the day, eating 3 meals, snacking as needed to curb the hunger pangs of a belly that's been given anything it wants for a month, drinking water at every turn, and counting every calorie I put in my (not as) little (as I'd like it to be) body, I ended the day alright. Here are today's stats (with my goals in parentheses)

Calories: 1367 (1200-1550)
Fat: 29 (32-56)
Carbs: 224 (163-236)
Protein: 59 (60-127)
Fiber: 25 (25-35)

I even ate some MUFAs today, at least with breakfast and lunch. I don't know about dinner, unless whole wheat spaghetti has MUFAs in it. Hmmm....

So, I'll take it. If I can keep doing this I think I'll be on a good path to being in better shape. And I'd like to be in better shape. I'd like to be healthy, I'd like to be happy, and I'd like to look good.

Happy New Year!