How I've Been...

Lately I've been underwhelmed at the prospect of trying to lose weight, or even get healthy for that matter. I've been discouraged. Frustrated.

I haven't gotten on the scale, for fear of what it might tell me.

I haven't been watching what I eat, really.

I didn't make it to the gym this week, though I did have Aerial Dance Friday AND Saturday.

I DID go for a walk on Monday, which was nice.

I went through 5 outfits this morning trying to find something to wear that didn't make me feel fat. Then I went to church and someone mistook me for being pregnant and asked how I've been feeling.

Discouraged.

I took a pregnancy test just in case, and it mocked me. It was one of those digital ones that says "pregnant" or "not pregnant" so there's no confusion. It blinked an hour glass as I waited, just like it was supposed to, but after 3 minutes it gave the follow result... NOTHING. Blank screen. Stupid test. I took another (the 1-or-2 line kind) a few hours later. Negative. Well, so much for that excuse for why I felt like a whale today!

My motivation is low. In most areas right now. I need to finish cleaning my craft room, but can't seem to bring myself to do it. I need to call customers, but keep watching the time dance by without picking up the phone. I need to fold the laundry, but there it is, still piled.

Frustrated.

I'm not sure how to manage my time better. I'm not sure how to manage my food better. But I've got to do something, I think, because this is an irritating cycle I'm finding myself in.

Tomorrow is Monday. Maybe I'll step on the scale.