Rebellion and Structure...

Why do I rebel against structure? This is a constant struggle for me and I find myself frustrated by it. I know that self-discipline and structure will help me achieve my goals, so why do I resist so much? It affects my every day... how much I get accomplished, how much sleep I get, how healthy I am, how well I parent... Everything! My day is full of resistance...

I resist getting up in the morning.

I resist reading my Bible.

I resist doing my daily coaching work.

I resist taking my pill.

I resist eating a healthy breakfast.

I resist taking a shower.

I resist emptying the dishwasher.

I resist doing a load of laundry.

I resist making my bed and teaching Eliana how to make hers.

I resist doing my work early in the day.

I resist exercising.

I resist cleaning the house.

I resist planning meals.

I resist eating a healthy lunch.

I resist making dinner.

I resist making business calls.

I resist loading the dishwasher.

I resist putting Eliana to bed.

I resist washing my face.

I resist picking out my clothes for the next day.

I resist going to bed at a decent time.

The truth is that with a little routine, a little structure, and a little self-discipline, my life would run a WHOLE lot smoother. And yet I can't seem to be able to do it. It can't be THAT hard, can it? What is my issue?

I have learned that my schedule has to be flexible. I don't get up at the same time every day, nor do I have the same schedule every day. So I don't expect myself to adhere to a strict timeline each day, but is it so hard to get things done early in the day so my house is not a mess and I am taken care of? What if I...

Woke up

Read my coaching reading

Read my Bible

Took my pill

Got up

Made my bed

Took a shower

Got ready

Started a load of laundry

Ate breakfast (a healthy breakfast)

Emptied the dishwasher

Moved laundry to the dryer

Started dinner (or at least got things thawing / crock pot / set out)

Ate lunch

Read my coaching reading

Read my Bible

Exercised

Worked

Spent time with Eliana

Made dinner

Cleaned up dinner and loaded the dishwasher

Made business calls

Put Eliana to bed

Washed my face

Put out my clothes for tomorrow

Got into bed

Read my coaching reading

Read my Bible

Went to sleep

Would that really be so difficult?

And what about what I am putting into my body? I have gotten into an awful habit of eating out fast food lately. I make poor choices at home. I don't plan ahead. I don't plan meals. I have not been eating well and it makes me feel sluggish and unattractive. What would happen if I...

Stopped watching TV?

Walked / Exercised 30 minutes a day?

Cut artificial sweetener out of my diet?

Cut white sugar out of my diet?

Ate more whole foods?

Ate more fruits and vegetables?

Took my vitamins?

Drank water?

Planned my meals?

Stopped eating impulsively?

Would I lose weight? Probably. Would I feel better? Definitely. So why don't I? Good question...

These are the things I'm pondering today.