I am officially an infertility patient...

I don't really know what to say about it, except that it's true. I've sort of known this day was coming since we've been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years now, but I've been putting off the appointment making and whatnot. However, at my annual last month my Dr. sent my file over to the infertility treatment coordinator, and I've now had an appointment with her, so I guess it's official.

We're not really going to do much about it, but it has meant a couple extra Dr. appointments and some extra bloodwork. But I suppose I should start documenting some of the results so I can follow my own progress, too.

As a side note, Leif suggested the other day that I would be a good accountant. I thought he was mocking me since I stink at numbers, but he was actually complimenting me on my compulsive documentation of things. I guess I am a compulsive documenter, but I don't feel very organized when I do. Hence, I blog.

So... a month ago my Dr. called in some day 3 labs to be drawn, and decided to do a complete workup just to keep in my file. Here are the results (that I can find... I'll have to come back in and edit the information as I come across it or call back for the info from the Dr.) from that:

2/14/2009
Estradiol: 85 (for good fertility, they like to see this number under 50)
FSH: _____ (Good)
*TSH: 1.4 (Very Good)

2/17/2009
**Triglycerides: _____ (Good)
**LDH: _______ (Good)
**HDH: _______ (Good)

Because my Estradiol level was high in February, my Dr. wanted to repeat the day 3 labs and do an ultrasound to see what was going on. Basically, as far as I understand it, there are two reasons the estradiol could be high without the others being elevated.

1. Cyst - a cyst could elevate the estradiol level without really impacting my fertility. I guess cysts come and go, so having the tests redone could confirm a cyst the month before and none now.

2. Not enough follicles - I could be running out of eggs and follicles, though since I'm still in my 20's she was hoping this wasn't the case. There's not much you can do once you run out of eggs.

So... I went to the Dr. on March 13 to chat and have an ultrasound. What I learned from the ultrasound is that...

1. I don't currently have a cyst, which is good. That means a cyst wouldn't cause abnormal hormone fluctuations for the blood test.

2. I have plenty of follicles! I'm not running out of eggs, which is encouraging. The Dr. said she likes to see a total of 10 follicles between the two ovaries and I have at least 10 on each side, so I'm good. Whew!

The next day I went in to draw day 3 labs again and here are the results:

3/14/2009
Estradiol: 41 (should be under 50)
FSH: _______ (Good)

So... things are good in that department!

Another concern I have had, and this I cannot trace back to the tube removal as a result of the ectopic pregnancy, is that my luteal phase has been getting shorter. So, there is a chance that I have been getting pregnant those couple months that I actually ovulated on the correct side, but that my progesterone level wasn't high enough to support the pregnancy, so it never had a chance to implant and grow. My cycles used to be very consistently 34 days. Every time. With a 15 day luteal phase. The last few times I charted, though, my luteal phase was only 9-11 days. 10 is the bare minimum needed to support a pregnancy, so that is a concern. I haven't been charting for some time now, but based on when I had my day 3 labs drawn the last 2 months, my last cycle was only 28 days. That's short for me, so I'm guessing I had another short luteal phase.

So... right now I'm back to charting. That part is just for my own tracking (there's that documentation obsession again!) so I can keep tabs on what's going on. I'm also using OPK's at the Dr.'s request since that's what they use to track ovulation. I'm going to go in for more blood work at 5,7, and 9 days past my LH surge to track my progesterone levels and see if they are low or drop off at the end. That should tell me if that's what's causing the shortened luteal phase. So... charting, more bloodwork. That's pretty much it.

My Dr. recommended going on Clomid to stimulate ovulation, but I have had pretty nasty side effects (weight gain! and emotional psychosis!) on hormones, so I don't want to do that. Aside from the side effects, I'm not ready to try to force my body to do something it's not supposed to be doing on its own. And I'm pretty sure if God doesn't want us to have any more kids right now, going on Clomid isn't going to help. =D So... getting to the root of the problem and fixing what's wrong I'm okay with. Trying to force something I'm not.

I'm charting on fertility friend. And hopefully Ellie won't steal my thermometer this month so I can actually get an accurate record. And I'll be recording other random (not what goes on my chart, just Dr. appts and blood work results, etc.) here. It's body clutter, right? Or at least mental clutter that has to do with my body...

Officially Overweight

Well, pooh. I just noticed that my BMI is up to 25 (because I updated my ticker) and that is in the officially overweight range. Not by much, and if I drop at all I'll be back within the "healthy" range, but I hate to be that close!

128...

... and that's progress! Maybe not much progress, but at least some! I've been here for 2 days, which is good and stable. =D

I realized that I've been seriously lacking in the fresh fruits and veggies department for the last couple months. Things haven't been in season so I haven't been buying them. Instead I've been munching on other things which are wholly unhealthy for me, both physically and emotionally. So the other day at Costco I stocked up on fresh fruits and veggies. Celery, lettuce, carrots, apples, strawberries (even if they were about twice as expensive as I like to pay in the summer), bananas... Now I'm pretty much in fresh fruit and veggie heaven. And I have been eating them, too! Turns out I am much happier that way. Go figure!

129 and holding...

... at least I haven't broken 130.

Today I did better on the food front. I've got to do something, because my pants are starting to fit me like I'm pregnant.... and I'm not.

Stupid shrinking pants....

I'm not doing well

The eating has been BAD.

The exercise has been nonexistent.

I still haven't joined the gym.

I'm staring at some chocolate right now thinking it would make a good breakfast.

I'm scared to weigh in.

That's pretty much the sum of it. If I'm brave today (since I haven't eaten yet) I might weigh in.

Might.

Holy Moly!

I don't know what is different or what changed, but when I got on the scale this morning it spat the number 129 back at me!

WAAAAAHHHHH!

Maybe that gym membership isn't such a bad idea! =( I wish I could say it was muscle and that muscle weighs more than fat, but my jeans are tight, too, so I know that's not the case. Sigh.

Why do I have such a hard time keeping up with an exercise/eating regimen? It really shouldn't be that hard, you know. BUT... enough negativity and on to the positive. I got up early this morning to do some stuff, and I did yoga! It was actually Ellie's idea, which I thought was funny. She said, "Mommy, let's do this:" and then proceeded to transition perfectly from plank to cobra to downward facing dog. It cracked me up! And who can say no when asked to exercise or stretch by a 2 year old?

So I did 3 repetitions of the sun salutation. I haven't been doing it lately, and I've noticed my flexibility getting worse (even worse than it was!) over the last month that I've quit. So... maybe if I start up again I will become a little more flexible. My back has just been really tight.

After the yoga Ellie and I went for a dip in the hot tub. That's a pretty relaxing start to the morning! So far I've had a pretty productive morning and I'm hoping to extend that throughout the day. I've had water, but I haven't eaten yet, so I should go do that now. And record my calories while I'm at it.

Gym Memberships

I am considering getting a gym membership to Gold's Gym. I still need to look into it some more, but working out at home without having someone else watch Ellie is just not working. My friend June goes to Gold's and really has good things to say about it. Plus they are one of the more reasonably priced gyms with reasonable child care. Important stuff.

Anywho, that's what I'm milling around in my head right now. I just finished up my aerial dance class and the next session doesn't start up until the end of the month. I think I'll sign up for the next session, too. I've really enjoyed it and seen a big difference in what I'm able to do just in 4 weeks. It's pretty cool!