Made to Crave

I have started reading "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkurst. It is really helping me change my thinking about food and my food cravings and I am excited to delve deeper into what she says about food and cravings. I'm especially excited to start working through some of the questions and exercises she has at the end of every chapter. Right now I'm just doing a quick read-through and plan to dig deeper in February, but even just the quick read-through is helping my thought process.

I have also been thinking about tracking food again and am evaluating using My Fitness Pal as an alternative to Spark People. I haven't quite decided to switch, but I think the more important factor is trying to track again, consistently.

I have also been considering seeing a nutritionist through my Dr.'s office to get a good plan in place. I haven't made any decisions there, either, but it's something I'm considering.

I am discouraged by my weight a little bit, though I know the higher numbers are a direct reflection of how I've been eating lately. Half a bag of peanut m&m's here, a few small chocolate bars there... I crave, and then I binge. So just for today I have decided not to binge on what I'm craving. I can't speak for tomorrow, but TODAY that is what I've decided. When I am craving something, I can turn to God and He will provide the strength I need to get through the craving.

I have a birthday party tonight that I will be attending, and that is going to be challenging. It will be nice, though, when I come home victorious over my cravings and have had a good time WITHOUT the need for indulgence. I can just enjoy the company of good friends and fill up on the joy of celebrating a birthday instead of filling up on the empty satisfaction of cake. (I don't even know if there will be cake, I'm just assuming...)

And just for today, I am tracking my calories.

Bleh.

That's how I've been feeling in the evenings. Perhaps if I ate a little better after 3 pm I'd feel better.

I can do it!

Last night didn't go well. Eating was fine yesterday, but last night my friend came to model and we went to Plonk afterwards. I would have been fine to stick with one drink and a little of the cheese platter. Instead I had a drink and a half, part of the cheese platter (though not much because it was ALL goat or sheep cheese - blech!), and half (or more!) of a creme brulee trio. Ugh! I want to be frustrated with myself today, but the truth is that being frustrated won't do anything to go back and change yesterday. All I can do is make today a better one.

I can do this!

I CAN have a positive attitude.
I CAN adopt a healthy lifestyle.
I CAN forgive myself for past mistakes and make today a better one.
I CAN lose 20 lbs.

I have never lost 20 lbs before. The most I've ever lost is 15. But that doesn't mean it isn't doable. I CAN lose 20 lbs. And then I CAN lose 20 more. It won't be easy, but it can be done. And more than that, it can be done by ME!

Okay... forcing myself to get out of bed and leave the pity party behind me. Today is a new day, and it will be a GREAT one!

BMI... and thinking ahead.

You have a BMI of 28.67.

Your BMI is between 25 and 29.9 (Overweight)
People falling in this BMI range are considered overweight and would benefit from finding healthy ways to lower their weight, such as diet and exercise. Individuals who fall in this range are at increased risk for a variety of ilnesses. If your BMI is 27-29.99 your risk of health problems becomes higher. In a recent study an increased rate of blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease was recorded at 27.3 for women.

As I look at approaching my goal weight for this month, I need to also start thinking about what my next goal is. If I lose 5 lbs every month for a year, that's a total of... 60 lbs. I don't want to lose 60 lbs. So how am I going to calculate my goals for the year? Obviously, I could lose 40 lbs and then work on maintaining. But I think my first aim is to be healthy, which means reaching a BMI below 25. That means I am aiming for a weight of 127.8 as my first real bench-mark. That will bring me out of the Overweight category and into the Healthy Weight category. I will be just at the upper end of healthy weight, but that's my first bench-mark goal!

So... 127.8 lbs is 19 lbs from where I am now. If I lose 5 lbs in February, March, April, and May, that will take me to a healthy weight by the start of June. That sounds so far away! But perhaps that's because change takes time. So... I think I will stick with my 5 lbs a month goal and see where it gets me. 

Today's Weight...

This morning I got on the scale and it said 146.8... Woohoo! That's the lowest number I've seen yet this month!

That is officially 5 lbs (my goal weight loss for January), though there are sure to be fluctuations along the way, so we'll see how the month actually ends up! Either way, it was nice to see a lower number on the scale!

Happy Saturday!!

I told myself I would...

... So I am exercising. I said I would get on the treadmill today, so I am. It might be 11:45pm, but I said I would and I am.

Working on being a woman of my word to myself.

Coffee....

Today I had my first coffee drink (sweet, creamy coffee drink, that is) since the beginning of the year. It would seem that I am getting tea or black coffee when out and about, which is good. Today, though, I got a yummy coffee drink and savored every moment of it. I also planned to have it, so it wasn't something that I was craving. It was something that I planned for last night and got this morning, and it was a big part of my breakfast. I also got it sugar free, which helped me not drop to a blood sugar low afterward.

In all, I am learning to eat breakfast, lunch, a 3:00 snack, and dinner. That seems to be a good food schedule for me.

Still working on the exercise front, but it is a work in progress. My plan is to exercise 3 times this week. So far I've exercised once. Tomorrow morning Kristiina and I are going ice skating with the girls, so hopefully I will get some exercise in that way, but only if I actually push myself and work at it.