I haven't been having cravings for days. Now, suddenly I'm home and I'm craving chocolate. I want to eat.
But you know what? I love God more than I love food. I love obedience more than I love temptation. I love excellence more than I love compromise. I love the lasting results of looking more like Him than I love the temporary satisfaction of chocolate on my tongue. I was made for more than this.
It's 3:00. I'm going to eat a healthy snack. And it won't be chocolate.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Home again, Home again...
I am home again! I knew I would be at the mercy of other people for meals (lunch and dinner yesterday), but I chose to make wise choices and I feel good about that! For lunch there were ham and cheese sandwiches, LOTS of "salads" - you know, the kind with fruit and jello and marshmallows and the like - and LOTS of cake / desserts. I had a sandwich and some baby carrots, and visited with friends and family members. It was wonderful!
Around 3:00 I needed to eat, so Robert and I went to a coffee shop. I was really wanting some fruit, since I hadn't had any yet, and I figured a coffee shop would be a nice place to get a banana or something. I was wrong. I ended up splitting an egg/sausage casserole thing with Robert (I ate 1/4 of it - was pretty excited about the moderation there! Just enough for a snack!) and I succumbed to a coconut mocha frappuccino. It sounded good. It was good. I did choose not to have whipped cream on top, and I enjoyed sipping it. I had about half of it and decided that I was satisfied, so I chose not to drink the rest of it. I'm calling that progress! I wasn't "depriving" myself or pouting over "throwing half a coffee drink away to save calories" or anything of the like. I chose to get it (whether that was a good choice or not), I enjoyed it, and chose not to indulge in all of it.
The same was true at dinner. We had lasagna and garlic bread. I had a small slice of garlic bread, a serving of lasagna, and iced tea. And then they brought out the cheesecake. It would have hurt my aunt's feelings if I'd just said no to the cheesecake, which I emotionally and physically could have done just fine. Instead, I asked if my mom would like to split a piece with me, which she did. I savored and enjoyed it along with the coffee and conversation. And I ate only half of it. Again, not depriving myself, just practicing moderation. It felt good!
At the end of the day, I totaled up my calories - I ended with 1228. My goal is 1200. That's not bad!! I am feeling like calorie counting is beginning to give me some freedom - not the counting in itself, by my changing attitudes about food.
Speaking of changing attitudes toward food, I finished reading Made to Crave. I didn't do the exercises, but just did a quick read-through. What an amazing book! I am looking forward to taking it a chapter at a time and thinking through my own personal issues this month/year. At 18 chapters, I think I will take the next 18 weeks to work through it... Want to join me??
Around 3:00 I needed to eat, so Robert and I went to a coffee shop. I was really wanting some fruit, since I hadn't had any yet, and I figured a coffee shop would be a nice place to get a banana or something. I was wrong. I ended up splitting an egg/sausage casserole thing with Robert (I ate 1/4 of it - was pretty excited about the moderation there! Just enough for a snack!) and I succumbed to a coconut mocha frappuccino. It sounded good. It was good. I did choose not to have whipped cream on top, and I enjoyed sipping it. I had about half of it and decided that I was satisfied, so I chose not to drink the rest of it. I'm calling that progress! I wasn't "depriving" myself or pouting over "throwing half a coffee drink away to save calories" or anything of the like. I chose to get it (whether that was a good choice or not), I enjoyed it, and chose not to indulge in all of it.
The same was true at dinner. We had lasagna and garlic bread. I had a small slice of garlic bread, a serving of lasagna, and iced tea. And then they brought out the cheesecake. It would have hurt my aunt's feelings if I'd just said no to the cheesecake, which I emotionally and physically could have done just fine. Instead, I asked if my mom would like to split a piece with me, which she did. I savored and enjoyed it along with the coffee and conversation. And I ate only half of it. Again, not depriving myself, just practicing moderation. It felt good!
At the end of the day, I totaled up my calories - I ended with 1228. My goal is 1200. That's not bad!! I am feeling like calorie counting is beginning to give me some freedom - not the counting in itself, by my changing attitudes about food.
Speaking of changing attitudes toward food, I finished reading Made to Crave. I didn't do the exercises, but just did a quick read-through. What an amazing book! I am looking forward to taking it a chapter at a time and thinking through my own personal issues this month/year. At 18 chapters, I think I will take the next 18 weeks to work through it... Want to join me??
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
victories!
I have had some huge victories in the last couple days! First off, I was invited to go to Applebee's after the meeting last night. I hadn't had dinner and I knew I needed a few more calories, but half price appetizer night is often more than I can handle. But I wanted the quality time with two good friends, so I looked at my calories and nutrition levels and the menu nonlinear. I needed protein and 308 calories. I chose to order mozzarella sticks and ate exactly 3 of them, which was 312 calories. I wasn't even tempted by the offers for spinach artichoke dip with chips, or cilantro lime tacks. I was thoroughly happy to eat what I decided and enjoy time with friends! Fried, yes. Moderation? YES!
Today has been another day of victories. The plan was to fly to Kansas for my grandmother's funeral tomorrow. Leave at 9am, arrive at 4:30. Brought granola bars for smacks to have for lunch and 3pm. Planned ahead. Then my flight got delayed. By 1 we had gotten on the plane and then off again. I decided to buy overpriced airport food. My go to would normally be a vending machine and pop. Instead, I thought about what my body would need. Ham and cheese and lettuce sandwich on cibatta is what I got. It held me until 6pm, when I finally got to Denver, where I got a $15 meal voucher for my troubles. I was going to get chicken strips when I spotted the overpriced $14 grilled chicken Caesar salad. I asked for the dressing on the side. I didn't eat the croutons or garlic bread that came with it. I enjoyed every bite of the lettuce, parmesan, and chicken. And I recorded my calories. I feel so empowered that I can make healthy choices in the airport! I usually eat a cinnabon and froofroo coffee. Today I didn't and I didn't feel deprived! I also read a lot of Made To Crave. So excited to really work through these issues!
It's now 10:15pm and I am waiting to be picked up from the airport. I have almost 400 calories left for today and I am hoping to find some fruit to fill my nutrition needs for those calories. It's late, but maybe I can find something. I drank my 2 literal of water today and didn't "need" my usual gingerale on the airplane. Water is good!
So those are my recent victories. I weighed in at 147.4 today. Not quite a 5 lb loss, but good progress! It will continue as I continue to be focused and disciplined, working for the Lord as I serve him with my attitude, thoughts, body, and habits!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Learning the difference between hunger and cravings
I'm learning the difference between hunger and cravings. I'm sure many people just know the difference, but I am having to learn. And I think I am learning! If it's breakfast time, lunch time, 3pm, or dinner time, I'm hungry. If something just sounds good, I'm probably just craving it. I'm working on drinking water in between meals. That helps keep me full and helps keep the water weight off.
I weighed in at 147.8 today. Down 1 lb from yesterday, so if I can just do it again tomorrow I will show the 5 lb January loss!
Working on eating healthy today. Had a slimfast shake for breakfast. I like that as an alternative to yummy coffee that I so often want! I had a Weight Watchers meal for lunch. That was good, too, as I was feeling hungry and just wanted to munch on things. I decided before I got home (and before I went through the drive through at Wendy's!) that I was going to eat one, and it kept me from snacking on things, knowing that I was going to have hot, yummy Mexican food for lunch. Woohoo!
Today I am packing to head to Kansas for Mommom's funeral. I am playing piano and singing "In His Time" at the funeral and I am just remembering today that "He makes all things beautiful in His time" when I look in the mirror and feel wide. Even with my super cute slimming dress on, I still feel wide today! My feelings will not derail my focus, though!!
I weighed in at 147.8 today. Down 1 lb from yesterday, so if I can just do it again tomorrow I will show the 5 lb January loss!
Working on eating healthy today. Had a slimfast shake for breakfast. I like that as an alternative to yummy coffee that I so often want! I had a Weight Watchers meal for lunch. That was good, too, as I was feeling hungry and just wanted to munch on things. I decided before I got home (and before I went through the drive through at Wendy's!) that I was going to eat one, and it kept me from snacking on things, knowing that I was going to have hot, yummy Mexican food for lunch. Woohoo!
Today I am packing to head to Kansas for Mommom's funeral. I am playing piano and singing "In His Time" at the funeral and I am just remembering today that "He makes all things beautiful in His time" when I look in the mirror and feel wide. Even with my super cute slimming dress on, I still feel wide today! My feelings will not derail my focus, though!!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
I didn't weigh myself this morning
But I am determined to hit that 5 lb loss mark!
The birthday party went well. I drank water - several glasses of water! It helped keep me feeling full. I also ate a few things, but kept it to a minimum... mostly celery with onion dip, which I actually found really satisfying! I had a few (5) seasoned mini pretzels, and half a piece of flourless chocolate cake.
Most of all, I recorded what I ate. And today, I decided to record what I ate again. I am actually struggling to get enough calories in, so that is my biggest thing right now. I am fighting against my mind, which says not to eat, because food equals weight gain. I know it's not true and can be detrimental, but I so DON'T want to give in to cravings that I swing the other way. For this reason, counting calories is good for me. It ensures that I get at least 1200 calories a day. Left to my own, I'd eat about 1000. That's about where I am right now, and I need to eat another 200 or so before I retire for the night.
I was going to skip the pot luck at church today because I didn't think I could have the self control to make wise choices. Guess what? I DID! I had protein-rich items, celery and onion dip (not as good as last night's!), and a couple glasses of water. Mostly I just enjoyed visiting with people and made it about the people instead of about the food. Success! That felt good!
What will feel even better is if I step on the scale in the morning and it is 146.8 or lower. The last weight I saw was yesterday and it was 148.8. Fluctuations are normal, I know, but it would be nice if the number on the scale would work with the date in my head to show me the results that I want. =D
I am headed to Kansas on Tuesday for my grandmother's funeral, so I probably won't be weighing myself after Tuesday morning until Friday when I am back. All the more reason to have a good weigh in on Tuesday morning! We'll see!
The birthday party went well. I drank water - several glasses of water! It helped keep me feeling full. I also ate a few things, but kept it to a minimum... mostly celery with onion dip, which I actually found really satisfying! I had a few (5) seasoned mini pretzels, and half a piece of flourless chocolate cake.
Most of all, I recorded what I ate. And today, I decided to record what I ate again. I am actually struggling to get enough calories in, so that is my biggest thing right now. I am fighting against my mind, which says not to eat, because food equals weight gain. I know it's not true and can be detrimental, but I so DON'T want to give in to cravings that I swing the other way. For this reason, counting calories is good for me. It ensures that I get at least 1200 calories a day. Left to my own, I'd eat about 1000. That's about where I am right now, and I need to eat another 200 or so before I retire for the night.
I was going to skip the pot luck at church today because I didn't think I could have the self control to make wise choices. Guess what? I DID! I had protein-rich items, celery and onion dip (not as good as last night's!), and a couple glasses of water. Mostly I just enjoyed visiting with people and made it about the people instead of about the food. Success! That felt good!
What will feel even better is if I step on the scale in the morning and it is 146.8 or lower. The last weight I saw was yesterday and it was 148.8. Fluctuations are normal, I know, but it would be nice if the number on the scale would work with the date in my head to show me the results that I want. =D
I am headed to Kansas on Tuesday for my grandmother's funeral, so I probably won't be weighing myself after Tuesday morning until Friday when I am back. All the more reason to have a good weigh in on Tuesday morning! We'll see!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Small Victory
Today I went outside with Eliana to toss a baseball and practice catching. She wanted to do it. I dragged my feet. But in the end I went out with her and played ball. She was happy. I was happy. Not a whole lot of exercise, but it was a start. And a victory is a victory no matter how small!
Made to Crave
I have started reading "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkurst. It is really helping me change my thinking about food and my food cravings and I am excited to delve deeper into what she says about food and cravings. I'm especially excited to start working through some of the questions and exercises she has at the end of every chapter. Right now I'm just doing a quick read-through and plan to dig deeper in February, but even just the quick read-through is helping my thought process.
I have also been thinking about tracking food again and am evaluating using My Fitness Pal as an alternative to Spark People. I haven't quite decided to switch, but I think the more important factor is trying to track again, consistently.
I have also been considering seeing a nutritionist through my Dr.'s office to get a good plan in place. I haven't made any decisions there, either, but it's something I'm considering.
I am discouraged by my weight a little bit, though I know the higher numbers are a direct reflection of how I've been eating lately. Half a bag of peanut m&m's here, a few small chocolate bars there... I crave, and then I binge. So just for today I have decided not to binge on what I'm craving. I can't speak for tomorrow, but TODAY that is what I've decided. When I am craving something, I can turn to God and He will provide the strength I need to get through the craving.
I have a birthday party tonight that I will be attending, and that is going to be challenging. It will be nice, though, when I come home victorious over my cravings and have had a good time WITHOUT the need for indulgence. I can just enjoy the company of good friends and fill up on the joy of celebrating a birthday instead of filling up on the empty satisfaction of cake. (I don't even know if there will be cake, I'm just assuming...)
And just for today, I am tracking my calories.
I have also been thinking about tracking food again and am evaluating using My Fitness Pal as an alternative to Spark People. I haven't quite decided to switch, but I think the more important factor is trying to track again, consistently.
I have also been considering seeing a nutritionist through my Dr.'s office to get a good plan in place. I haven't made any decisions there, either, but it's something I'm considering.
I am discouraged by my weight a little bit, though I know the higher numbers are a direct reflection of how I've been eating lately. Half a bag of peanut m&m's here, a few small chocolate bars there... I crave, and then I binge. So just for today I have decided not to binge on what I'm craving. I can't speak for tomorrow, but TODAY that is what I've decided. When I am craving something, I can turn to God and He will provide the strength I need to get through the craving.
I have a birthday party tonight that I will be attending, and that is going to be challenging. It will be nice, though, when I come home victorious over my cravings and have had a good time WITHOUT the need for indulgence. I can just enjoy the company of good friends and fill up on the joy of celebrating a birthday instead of filling up on the empty satisfaction of cake. (I don't even know if there will be cake, I'm just assuming...)
And just for today, I am tracking my calories.
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