Body Clutter Mission #3

Do you feel pretty?

Sometimes. I do not like my post-baby body. I like my smile and my eyes, but I don't smile nearly often enough. I feel pretty when I wear clothes that are flattering and slimming.

How many years worth of clothes do you have in your closet? How many sizes?

I try to keep my closet pretty much just clothes that I can wear, though I have a few that are just a tad bit too small. I have sizes 6-10 in my closet, and I can pretty much wear all of them, though they don't all look good on me.

What words do you hear in your head when you look in your closet at the clothes that don't fit?

Someday. Maybe. Hopefully. Sigh. I wonder if I will ever be able to wear that again.

Do you get dressed to the shoes first thing in the morning?

Not usually first thing. My daughter is my alarm clock, so I usually have to feed her first, then get her settled doing something, then I eat breakfast myself, then shower and get dressed. I've been trying to do better at getting dressed to the shoes and I'm wearing my shoes right now.

Have you ever felt embarrassed by your weight? How did you feel and what caused your shame?

I feel ashamed about my weight when I see people who knew me growing up. I was ALWAYS very thin, so I feel like I am a big disappointment when I see them. I also feel that way with my family. I know they want what's best for me, and they (and I) feel that being thin again is best for me. On the trip to Texas over Christmas, I didn't really want to be seen by people and I was glad that most of the attention was on Eliana. I'm not proud of my size.

Have you used your Body Clutter as a shield?

I don't think so. I hate it and I've been trying to get rid of it since it showed up, so I don't think I've been using it to shield me from people.