Chicken Lasagna

I made up a new recipe tonight. =D I never used to make up recipes, but lately it seems I have been. Just look in the cupboard and see what I've got, then throw it together and it becomes something! Ha ha! Tonight it became Chicken Lasagna, and it turned out REALLY good! And not only does it taste good, but it's high in vitamin A (because I added pumpkin puree) and it's low calorie, too! Here are the general nutrition stats:

• Calories: 224.7

• Total Fat: 9.5 g
• Cholesterol: 80.1 mg
• Sodium: 589.1 mg
• Total Carbs: 12.3 g
• Dietary Fiber: 2.2 g
• Protein: 21.4 g

Have I mentioned that I love sparkrecipes.com? I love it! Here's the full recipe, with all the additional nutrition information, too. And here's how it's done...

Ingredients

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts 6 cloves garlic 2 15-oz cans tomato sauce 1 C. pumpkin or squash puree 1 C. water 1/2 C. white wine 2 T. Italian seasoning 2 T. dried onion 1 T. basil 1 T. oregano 1 T. onion powder 1/2 T. garlic powder 1/2 T. marjoram 2 C. shredded mozzarella cheese 2 eggs 1/2 C. sour cream Whole wheat lasagna noodles

Directions

Cut up chicken and put it in a saucepan with the garlic (chopped) and wine over medium/high heat. Cook until chicken is done.
While the chicken is cooking, mix together tomato sauce, pumpkin puree, water, and seasonings. When the chicken is done cooking, add the tomato sauce mixture to the saucepan and stir to mix over low heat. Let heat through.
While the tomato sauce is heating, mix mozzarella, sour cream, and eggs.
In a 9x13 pan, put a thin layer of spaghetti sauce on the bottom and a layer of dry lasagna noodles on top of that. Add a layer of cheese on top of the noodles. Repeat layers. Finish with a layer of spaghetti sauce sprinkled with a little cheese.
Cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes. Uncover and bake for 10 minutes more.
Makes 12 servings.

Doing the Math...

I can't set a goal without informing myself, so here I am, AGAIN, doing math.

(For someone who really doesn't like math, I sure seem to do a lot of it!)

IF I were to set a weight loss goal, I would want to lose the weight by our family reunion in July. And if I'm going to lose the weight by the end of July, I really ought to just plan to lose the weight by Seminar. =D So... my weight loss deadline would be July 15.

July 15... that gives me... about 15 weeks to lose some weight.

At 1 lb a week, that would be 15 lbs, and that would put me at approximately 115 lbs.

That would be good. I would be happy with that. I would be even happier with 110 lbs, though, so let's just aim for 110, since this is all hypothetical. Shall we? =D

So... to lose 20 lbs in 15 weeks, I will need to dispose of 70,000 calories. Wow. That's a lot of calories! Okay... so, 70,000 calories over 15 weeks is... 4666 calories a week. Let's just round that to 4700 calories per week. That means I need to somehow get rid of 671 (rounded down to 670) calories per day. On average, I burn approximately 1350 calories, just by being alive every day. The actual number is 1366.something, but I rounded down for simplicity sake. So... I burn approximately 1600 calories daily, between being alive and living a fairly sedentary life. I could easily up that number to 1800 calories a day, just by being a little more active around the house and sitting less. But for now we'll stick with 1600 calories. So.... I need to somehow rid myself of 670 (or 700, for numbers' sake) calories a day. If I eat 1200 calories a day, that takes that number down to 300. That means I need to burn 300 calories a day through exercise.

Goal: lose 20 lbs
Deadline: July 15
Calories/Week: 4700
Calories/Day: 700
BMR: 1350
Daily Calorie Expenditure: 1600
Calorie Intake/Day: 1200
Calories Burned through Exercise/Day: 300

I seem to always come up with the same answer, every time I want to lose weight. 1200 calories, burn 300 every day. I guess it's good the formula works each time, but somehow I always think it will come out differently. =D Silly me.

So... if I eat 1200 calories a day and burn 300 through exercise, it IS possible for me to lose 20 lbs by the middle of July. That's good to know.

Now, the question is... do I want to?

Commitment....

I've been about as committed to losing weight and living an active, healthy life as I have about blogging it.

My efforts have been sporadic at best, and I will start my days with the best of intentions on the food front, only to find myself with a handful of skittles as I'm headed to bed a 10:30.

As I said before, I've been contemplating joining a gym, despite the additional cost of doing so. But I've come to a realization this last week... If I am not committed to doing it at home with the equipment I have here, what makes me think I am going to be committed to going someplace else and working out?

The bottom line is that if it's really important to me I will make it a priority and let go of all the excuses I let get in my way. And I do have a LOT of excuses. But the fact that I keep using them tells me that I have NOT made weight loss and healthy living a priority, so if I want to make a change, it's not the workout location that ought to change, but my attitude and commitment level towards this goal of mine.

And if it's not a goal of mine right now, then I need to take it off the table and quit putting mental energy towards it.

So... what is it going to take for me to be committed?? A deadline? An exercise plan? An eating plan? A support group? Therapy?? (Ha ha! Okay, I was just kidding on that last one.) What am I afraid of? A lot of the things I learned at Career Conference apply to all areas of my life, including this one. "Do what scares you, and then it won't." What am I afraid of? Exercising and being uncomfortable doing it? Setting a goal and failing at it? Being called fat at the family reunion? (Oh yes, this last one is true!!) If it's about failing at my goal, then I just need to remember that "Attitude + Action = Achievement" If I put for the effort, with the right attitude, then I can let go of the results, because I have done what I need to. Let go of the number on the scale and just do what I said I would do. I need to be a "Woman of my Word" and follow through when I set a goal! If I say that I'm going to drink 2 liters of water today, I need to drink 2 liters of water today. Period. I must be true to my word, even if my word is only to myself. I must recommit daily, not just commit today and think that I will feel the same way in a week, forcing myself to live out a commitment I made a while back and forgot about. I need to make sure I am committed TODAY. Every day. And if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well, with all my heart. I don't have to exercise 24/7, but if I say I'm going to exercise for 30 minutes, I need to give it my absolute ALL for those 30 minutes. I need to be true to my word, not trying to cut corners.

I have not been committed to weight loss. But I think it's time I am.

And I'll admit, committing to weight loss scares me, because what if I fail? What if I don't make it? What if my grandmother calls me fat?!

But if I do what scares me, then it will stop scaring me. So I'm going to commit. I am committed. Not to you, or to the scale, or to my grandmother, but I am committed TO ME, for me, to do what I say I am going to do when it comes to eating right and exercising and doing what I know I need to do in order to lose the weight.

So here it is, my commitment...

I, Elizabeth Wickland, am committed to being a woman of my word. I am committed NOT to set a goal until I am willing to give it my all to achieve it. An when I do set a goal, I commit to myself to do what needs to be done to accomplish that goal.

I am officially an infertility patient...

I don't really know what to say about it, except that it's true. I've sort of known this day was coming since we've been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years now, but I've been putting off the appointment making and whatnot. However, at my annual last month my Dr. sent my file over to the infertility treatment coordinator, and I've now had an appointment with her, so I guess it's official.

We're not really going to do much about it, but it has meant a couple extra Dr. appointments and some extra bloodwork. But I suppose I should start documenting some of the results so I can follow my own progress, too.

As a side note, Leif suggested the other day that I would be a good accountant. I thought he was mocking me since I stink at numbers, but he was actually complimenting me on my compulsive documentation of things. I guess I am a compulsive documenter, but I don't feel very organized when I do. Hence, I blog.

So... a month ago my Dr. called in some day 3 labs to be drawn, and decided to do a complete workup just to keep in my file. Here are the results (that I can find... I'll have to come back in and edit the information as I come across it or call back for the info from the Dr.) from that:

2/14/2009
Estradiol: 85 (for good fertility, they like to see this number under 50)
FSH: _____ (Good)
*TSH: 1.4 (Very Good)

2/17/2009
**Triglycerides: _____ (Good)
**LDH: _______ (Good)
**HDH: _______ (Good)

Because my Estradiol level was high in February, my Dr. wanted to repeat the day 3 labs and do an ultrasound to see what was going on. Basically, as far as I understand it, there are two reasons the estradiol could be high without the others being elevated.

1. Cyst - a cyst could elevate the estradiol level without really impacting my fertility. I guess cysts come and go, so having the tests redone could confirm a cyst the month before and none now.

2. Not enough follicles - I could be running out of eggs and follicles, though since I'm still in my 20's she was hoping this wasn't the case. There's not much you can do once you run out of eggs.

So... I went to the Dr. on March 13 to chat and have an ultrasound. What I learned from the ultrasound is that...

1. I don't currently have a cyst, which is good. That means a cyst wouldn't cause abnormal hormone fluctuations for the blood test.

2. I have plenty of follicles! I'm not running out of eggs, which is encouraging. The Dr. said she likes to see a total of 10 follicles between the two ovaries and I have at least 10 on each side, so I'm good. Whew!

The next day I went in to draw day 3 labs again and here are the results:

3/14/2009
Estradiol: 41 (should be under 50)
FSH: _______ (Good)

So... things are good in that department!

Another concern I have had, and this I cannot trace back to the tube removal as a result of the ectopic pregnancy, is that my luteal phase has been getting shorter. So, there is a chance that I have been getting pregnant those couple months that I actually ovulated on the correct side, but that my progesterone level wasn't high enough to support the pregnancy, so it never had a chance to implant and grow. My cycles used to be very consistently 34 days. Every time. With a 15 day luteal phase. The last few times I charted, though, my luteal phase was only 9-11 days. 10 is the bare minimum needed to support a pregnancy, so that is a concern. I haven't been charting for some time now, but based on when I had my day 3 labs drawn the last 2 months, my last cycle was only 28 days. That's short for me, so I'm guessing I had another short luteal phase.

So... right now I'm back to charting. That part is just for my own tracking (there's that documentation obsession again!) so I can keep tabs on what's going on. I'm also using OPK's at the Dr.'s request since that's what they use to track ovulation. I'm going to go in for more blood work at 5,7, and 9 days past my LH surge to track my progesterone levels and see if they are low or drop off at the end. That should tell me if that's what's causing the shortened luteal phase. So... charting, more bloodwork. That's pretty much it.

My Dr. recommended going on Clomid to stimulate ovulation, but I have had pretty nasty side effects (weight gain! and emotional psychosis!) on hormones, so I don't want to do that. Aside from the side effects, I'm not ready to try to force my body to do something it's not supposed to be doing on its own. And I'm pretty sure if God doesn't want us to have any more kids right now, going on Clomid isn't going to help. =D So... getting to the root of the problem and fixing what's wrong I'm okay with. Trying to force something I'm not.

I'm charting on fertility friend. And hopefully Ellie won't steal my thermometer this month so I can actually get an accurate record. And I'll be recording other random (not what goes on my chart, just Dr. appts and blood work results, etc.) here. It's body clutter, right? Or at least mental clutter that has to do with my body...

Officially Overweight

Well, pooh. I just noticed that my BMI is up to 25 (because I updated my ticker) and that is in the officially overweight range. Not by much, and if I drop at all I'll be back within the "healthy" range, but I hate to be that close!

128...

... and that's progress! Maybe not much progress, but at least some! I've been here for 2 days, which is good and stable. =D

I realized that I've been seriously lacking in the fresh fruits and veggies department for the last couple months. Things haven't been in season so I haven't been buying them. Instead I've been munching on other things which are wholly unhealthy for me, both physically and emotionally. So the other day at Costco I stocked up on fresh fruits and veggies. Celery, lettuce, carrots, apples, strawberries (even if they were about twice as expensive as I like to pay in the summer), bananas... Now I'm pretty much in fresh fruit and veggie heaven. And I have been eating them, too! Turns out I am much happier that way. Go figure!

129 and holding...

... at least I haven't broken 130.

Today I did better on the food front. I've got to do something, because my pants are starting to fit me like I'm pregnant.... and I'm not.

Stupid shrinking pants....