Walking

As per the dietician's recommendaion, I am walking right now. =D I was going through some material on my computer and realized that I could do it sitting at the table, or I could do it walking on the treadmill. So I picked the treadmill. Yay for good decisions!

I have also been tracking my food using the nutrition sheets she provided, and they have been very helpful. Yesterday I did not do so well, but I gave myself grace and freedom instead of beating myself up and today I have been able to pick up and do well without feeling the guilt of "messing up" yesterday. How wonderful freedom is!

So far my week looks something like...

Tuesday - food was good, exercised 75 minutes
Wednesday - food was good, exercised 15 minutes
Thursday - food was good, exercised no minutes?
Friday - food was not so good, exercised 30 minutes
Today - so far food is good, and I've exercised 45 minutes.

I believe the goal is to exercise a total of 2.5 hours each week (or roughly 30 minutes 5x a week), so I am right where I should be there, and my food has been good, too. Hooray!

Shiny New Road Bike!

I haven't ridden a bike by myself in years. I tried a couple years ago and failed. Miserably. We have a tandem, so I ride that with Leif, but I don't have to do much other than pedal. It's great for family outings, but if I want to ride by myself or with Eliana, well, I'm out of luck. 

As I'm working toward my goal of running a 5K in June, I have another goal in mind for further down the road: to do my first triathlon. In order to do that, though, I need to be able to ride a bike. In order to ride a bike, I kind of need one. 

So... we went to REI looking for a bike for me. After test riding a few, here's what we settled on...

It's a Scott Contessa road bike. I was really impressed with how comfortable on it I was, even though I shouldn't be. That is, I am surprised I could even ride the "comfort" bikes that were designed for stability, much less this one that is designed for speed. It's a good bike. And we got an AMAZING deal on it, so even better! I really like it. I even rode it home from the store!

I can now ride Eliana to school in the mornings and pick her up, instead of having Leif ride with her. I can also run errands over to Rosauers, etc. on the bike instead of in the car. I'm excited!

What I'm even more excited about is that I got 6 miles of riding in today and that was AFTER a day of skiing! That qualifies as EXERCISE... AND family time!! 

I stepped out of my comfort zone today, and it feels great! I decided not to be scared while skiing, and even  went down a blue run. =D LOL! Once upon a time a blue run was not unusual, but that was before I had Eliana! I am excited to get back into skiing, even if today was my last day of the season. I stepped out of my comfort zone and test rode bikes, something I was especially afraid to do. But, as I tell Eliana, the best way to get over being afraid of something is to do it. So I did it. And I found a bike I really like, and I rode it 3 miles home! And I'm not scared of bike riding any more. Woohoo! 

Weigh in and Run in!

I weighed in today at 147.6. Back to 4lbs lost.

I ran C25K week 2, day 1 today! I didn't run at all last week, so I'm happy to have gotten this in... next run is Wednesday!! I can do this...

And now, I took a picture of what I looked like at the end of my run. I can't believe I'm going to post this, because this is really NOT what I want to look like. But I am committed to making a change, and if visual proof of my progress (or lack thereof) is what will help, I will do it. Here's my post treadmill picture at 147.6 lbs...

From Body Clutter

Oh, and I did eat breakfast. I am out of my slim fast shakes, so I made myself a peanut butter banana chocolate protein shake. It was great! It was also over 500 calories I found out... LOL! Good thing I burned over 200 on my run so it evened out to a 300 calorie breakfast. I think a light lunch will be in order! But not until I shower and get ready for the day!

It's 11am and I haven't eaten breakfast yet.

Which means I haven't gotten a lot of what I want to do today done yet!! I had great visions of getting laundry done, running in, etc. I'm still in my PJ's.

BUT I am going to get up, weigh myself, eat some breakfast, and run right now. I can't change the last few hours, but I CAN change what happens in the next hour!

Valentine's Day

WARNING: Not the happiest post ever. I have some fears, negative thoughts that surface in certain situations, and so I'm going to record them here. Just so you know.

I should be happy that I got flowers on Valentine's Day. No, I AM happy that I got flowers on Valentine's Day. But what I really want is BEAUTIFUL flowers from my husband today, to remind me that he thinks I'm beautiful. Except that he doesn't, and I know that. I'm thankful that he includes out daughter in picking out gifts for me. But when I see the flowers that my 5 year old picked out and my husband gave me, it just reminds me, once again, that I am overweight and too big to be beautiful in his eyes. Perhaps if I were smaller he would think I was pretty. No, I KNOW that if I were smaller he would think I was pretty.

So, Valentine's Day is hard for me. People think that if you have a spouse, or someone to love, then Valentine's Day is a beautiful thing. And, in some ways it is. I have a beautiful daughter and a husband who LOVES me. I have no doubt that he loves me. But today is a reminder that he doesn't think I'm pretty and it's because I'm overweight. And that is hard to deal with. Sometimes it makes me want to stuff my face with food. Today it makes me want to starve myself. Neither is a healthy option. I hate that the healthy option is to feed my body what it needs, and starve the cravings and emotional wants. I just want to be free from this battle! But I'm not. So I can keep fighting, or I can surrender. If I surrender, I will never be beautiful. I will never get roses. I will never be seen as pretty by the man I love. So... I keep fighting. Sometimes I lose a skirmish here and there, but in the end I hope to win the battle.

Not the best week ever...

I don't know if it was stress, or starting to get sick, or laziness, or what, but this was not the best week for me. Monday and Tuesday were fine. Wednesday was a bad day of giving in to lots of tempting foods, and even making bad food decisions just because. Not good. Thursday and Friday were spent trying to recover from that day, and finding it hard to not give in. Saturday wasn't too bad, but I haven't been recording my food.

Today I weighed myself and, surprise, surprise, found my weight up. 147.6

I am choosing to record my food today.

The good news:

* We are going skiing today as a family!

* I actually FIT into my ski pants that I couldn't wear a month ago!! (Mind you, I'm not drinking anything while we ski, because if I have to go to the bathroom I'm not sure I'll get them off and then on again! LOL!)

* I did 2 days of my C25K workout this week! Yesterday I was going to do the 3rd, but spent the whole day in bed trying to rest up and get rid of this head cold that is making me miserable.

* This head cold is not going to keep me from skiing with my family today, though I will be paying for it tomorrow.

C25K day 1!!

Today I did the C25K week 1 day 1 workout! I am proud of myself for doing it, and amazed that it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be! Yay!!

In other news, I weighed in at 145.8 again today! Officially 6 lbs lost! Woot!