I remembered to take my SulfaSALAzine both times yesterday. Actually, I remembered to take all my pills yesterday. That feels a little bit like progress. One day at time, right?
Also, I had a pretty low-carb day. Two protein shakes, some string cheese, and dinner. Dinner was vegan lentil stew with a couple slices of bread. Maybe not the lowest carb, but balanced, I think.
I walked home from school yesterday, and then I walked to Bobbi's house and home after small group. This morning I walked to school.
24 hours does not a habit make, but it's a start.
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
RA Update
I saw my rheumatologist yesterday and we discussed different medication options. Back in August, she added sulfaSALAzine to the methotrexate, which has become less effective. I’ve been struggling to take the sulfaSALAzine consistently, because it needs to be taken twice a day, with food. Because of the gastroparesis, I don’t always eat dinner if I’m digesting slowly. I also am not remembering to take my pills when I’m eating, and they have to be taken with food. The methotrexate is also starting to cause some nausea again, and my dr thinks my hair is getting thinner again, like it did when I was on the Mtx pills. So... we talked about other medication options. I was really hoping for a once daily pill that didn’t have to be taken with food. As it turns out, that’s not really an option. There are other pills, but the side effects won’t play nicely with my gastroparesis, so my dr really doesn’t recommend them for me. The other options are more injections that would be used in conjunction with the methotrexate I’m already on, or, if I want to get off the methotrexate, IV infusions. She recommends Orencia, so I’m looking into that.
It’s been 5 years since I went on the methotrexate. My joints have responded well to it. We knew at some point it wouldn’t be enough. All of my medication options are more complicated, though, not simpler. I feel like managing the RA is like running on a hamster wheel, and I’m ready to get off. But there’s no getting off, and I’m struggling with that. I’m 39 years old, and this is the rest of my life. Assuming I live to 80, I’ve got 40 more years of trial and error medication taking to find something that works until it doesn’t. Most of the options are used in conjunction with methotrexate. I thought I was okay with having RA, and here at the first transition to new meds, the first of, potentially, many bends in the road, I find myself grieving this disease all over again.
Am I just not trying hard enough to make the sulfaSALAzine work for me? My labs have improved on it, even with my VERY spotty dosing over the past few months. Can I ask Leif to do the injections for me so the methotrexate isn’t such an ordeal each week? It’s gotten bad enough that I’m missing doses of that from time to time, too. Would it be better if I handed the needle to someone else and let them do the sticking? Can I better handle the pain if it’s not self inflicted?
My insurance company has been hounding me to get signed on to the Accordant Care program. It’s free, and will supposedly help me manage my RA treatment plan. I’ve been debating about it for 6 months or so. They’ve sent me the paperwork three times and call me every couple weeks about it. I filled out the paperwork yesterday. I think I’ll put it in the mail today. I figure if I am going to have to deal with medication re-evaluation every few years and most of the RA meds are going to be things I have to fight to have covered by insurance, and (unlike methotrexate) are prohibitively expensive without insurace, maybe being in this program will give me someone on my side who can help me appeal to insurace.
Is the bad that I know better than the bad that I don’t know? Do I just resign myself to taking methotrexate for the long haul and feel crappy for a day or two with each weekend dosage? Is this just part of the deal? Do I double down my efforts to make this regimen work, or do I move forward with the Orencia infusions, believing, hoping, that they will offer me something better? Is there a door number three?
I told Leif last night that I feel much more comfortable as the one who loves the worse of “for better or worse” than as the one who is the worse of “for better or worse.” I don’t like being broken. I want to have better to offer people than this broken version of me, and I’m struggling with that right now.
It’s been 5 years since I went on the methotrexate. My joints have responded well to it. We knew at some point it wouldn’t be enough. All of my medication options are more complicated, though, not simpler. I feel like managing the RA is like running on a hamster wheel, and I’m ready to get off. But there’s no getting off, and I’m struggling with that. I’m 39 years old, and this is the rest of my life. Assuming I live to 80, I’ve got 40 more years of trial and error medication taking to find something that works until it doesn’t. Most of the options are used in conjunction with methotrexate. I thought I was okay with having RA, and here at the first transition to new meds, the first of, potentially, many bends in the road, I find myself grieving this disease all over again.
Am I just not trying hard enough to make the sulfaSALAzine work for me? My labs have improved on it, even with my VERY spotty dosing over the past few months. Can I ask Leif to do the injections for me so the methotrexate isn’t such an ordeal each week? It’s gotten bad enough that I’m missing doses of that from time to time, too. Would it be better if I handed the needle to someone else and let them do the sticking? Can I better handle the pain if it’s not self inflicted?
My insurance company has been hounding me to get signed on to the Accordant Care program. It’s free, and will supposedly help me manage my RA treatment plan. I’ve been debating about it for 6 months or so. They’ve sent me the paperwork three times and call me every couple weeks about it. I filled out the paperwork yesterday. I think I’ll put it in the mail today. I figure if I am going to have to deal with medication re-evaluation every few years and most of the RA meds are going to be things I have to fight to have covered by insurance, and (unlike methotrexate) are prohibitively expensive without insurace, maybe being in this program will give me someone on my side who can help me appeal to insurace.
Is the bad that I know better than the bad that I don’t know? Do I just resign myself to taking methotrexate for the long haul and feel crappy for a day or two with each weekend dosage? Is this just part of the deal? Do I double down my efforts to make this regimen work, or do I move forward with the Orencia infusions, believing, hoping, that they will offer me something better? Is there a door number three?
I told Leif last night that I feel much more comfortable as the one who loves the worse of “for better or worse” than as the one who is the worse of “for better or worse.” I don’t like being broken. I want to have better to offer people than this broken version of me, and I’m struggling with that right now.
Sunday, March 18, 2018
Low Carb Vegetarian
This summer, I stopped eating meat. As it turns out, my body finds meat difficult to digest. Since I stopped consuming it, I haven't had any issues with my gastroparesis. Score!
After the last few bloodtests for the Rheumatologist have come back with a higher-than-expected CRP, my dr. hypothesized that my CRP was elevated due to my Insulin Resistance, not my Rheumatoid Arthritis. So... back to low carb eating.
Now, the last time I went on a low carb diet, it was wildly successful from the weight loss front, but that's also what triggered my gastroparesis and I spent months throwing up a lot of the food I ate because I simply couldn't digest it. The solution was to eat more simple carbs; not an insulin-friendly plan. But my gastroparesis seemed to be under control with the vegetarian diet, so I thought I'd give it a try.
Of course, I was pondering all of this shortly before the start of Lent, so it seemed a fitting time to try a 6 week experiment. I weighed myself on the day after Ash Wednesday, which happened to fall on Valentine's Day this year:
March 15 - 163.6
Ooof.
I've never seen a number that high on my scale.
Leif helped me figure out what sorts of things I needed to be eating. In general, I find myself eating some variation of the following things daily:
After the last few bloodtests for the Rheumatologist have come back with a higher-than-expected CRP, my dr. hypothesized that my CRP was elevated due to my Insulin Resistance, not my Rheumatoid Arthritis. So... back to low carb eating.
Now, the last time I went on a low carb diet, it was wildly successful from the weight loss front, but that's also what triggered my gastroparesis and I spent months throwing up a lot of the food I ate because I simply couldn't digest it. The solution was to eat more simple carbs; not an insulin-friendly plan. But my gastroparesis seemed to be under control with the vegetarian diet, so I thought I'd give it a try.
Of course, I was pondering all of this shortly before the start of Lent, so it seemed a fitting time to try a 6 week experiment. I weighed myself on the day after Ash Wednesday, which happened to fall on Valentine's Day this year:
March 15 - 163.6
Ooof.
I've never seen a number that high on my scale.
Leif helped me figure out what sorts of things I needed to be eating. In general, I find myself eating some variation of the following things daily:
- 2 eggs (scrambled, fried, hard boiled, whatever)
- Whey protein shake (often with a peanut butter powder added)
- Vegetables
- Low sugar fruits
- Cheese
I do my very best to make sure I eat at least 1000 calories a day (I'm 5 feet tall, remember), and to eat an adequate amount of protein, while trying to make sure my carbs come from fruits and vegetables.
We've got 2 weeks left of Lent, and it's been about 4.5 weeks since my experiment began. I'm drinking more water, eating a better quality (and more moderate quantities) of food, and find myself eating things I never thought I'd like, such as roasted asparagus. And today when I weighed myself, the scale said:
April 18 - 149.6
That's 14 lbs down in a little over 4 weeks. My goal was to lose that amount by April 1. I'm shocked at the progress. It has slowed down a little bit over the last week, but even so I've lost 2 pounds this week.
It looks like I need a new goal!
Friday, August 11, 2017
Mostly Plants
Tonight I was asked if I'm a vegetarian. My answer surprised me: "Sort of." I don't know when I became "sort of" vegetarian, but I have been making a point to eat differently this summer. My mantra?
Eat real food.
Not too much.
Mostly plants.
The mantra comes thanks to Michael Pollan and his Food Rules. I think it's a good one.
I'm going to give the plant based diet a try for a few weeks to see if it makes a difference in how I feel. Aside from the butter and eggs in the scone and muffin today, I had a plant based day. I enjoyed my food. I felt good. I was full. We'll see where it goes from here.
Eat real food.
Not too much.
Mostly plants.
The mantra comes thanks to Michael Pollan and his Food Rules. I think it's a good one.
I'm going to give the plant based diet a try for a few weeks to see if it makes a difference in how I feel. Aside from the butter and eggs in the scone and muffin today, I had a plant based day. I enjoyed my food. I felt good. I was full. We'll see where it goes from here.
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
2017 Weight Progress
Things have gone backwards, but as I go through my planner from last year, I'm jotting down my weigh ins so I can see what the progress (backward though it may be) looks like.
- 138 (Aug 20)
- 139.4 (Sept 2)
- 139.4 (Sept 4)
- 141.2 (Sept 12) - Threw up toast and Metformin at 4:50am
- 139.2 (Sept 15)
- 140.6 (Sept 19)
- 143.6 (Sept 29)
- 141.4 (Oct 3)
- 140.8 (Oct 12)
- 141.8 (Oct 14)
- 144.4 (Nov 6)
- 144.4 (Nov 8)
- 145.4 (Nov 14)
- 144.6 (Nov 18)
- 150 (Jan 3) - Waist 35, Hips 41
- 149.4 (Jan 4)
- 150.4 (Jan 6) - 100.2 temp
- 150.6 (Jan 9)
- temp 99.6 (Jan 16)
- 149.4 (Jan 17) - 100.6 temp - flare
- temp 100 (Jan 18) - flare
- temp 99.6 (Jan 19)
- 150.8 (Jan 24) - 99.5 temp
- 149 (Feb 4) - 99.6 temp
- 151.6 (Feb 8) - 99.6 temp
- 152.2 (Feb 22) - 99.4 temp
- 159 (Aug 9)
I don't know why I've gained 20 lbs this year. It's discouraging. How do I reverse the trend?
Friday, January 1, 2016
New Year, New Goals!
Happy 2016!!
I'm not one for new years resolutions about weight loss, but I am all for setting new goals, so... here goes.
I weighed in at 131.6 this morning. The holidays (and my carb/sugar intake) have taken their toll, but not so much that I'm discouraged. So here's my 2016 plan...
I want to get down to 115 lbs this year.
I think I can do it. It means losing 16 lbs in 2016. Sounds good to me!!
SO... carb watching (which I totally didn't do today) and exercise (which I also didn't do today) for the win. I want to cook more at home and eat more meat and veggies. I can do that. I want to make a point to go to the gym more often than I have the last month. That shouldn't be hard. I just need to build it into my daily / weekly routines.
Here's to a happy, healthy 2016!
I'm not one for new years resolutions about weight loss, but I am all for setting new goals, so... here goes.
I weighed in at 131.6 this morning. The holidays (and my carb/sugar intake) have taken their toll, but not so much that I'm discouraged. So here's my 2016 plan...
I want to get down to 115 lbs this year.
I think I can do it. It means losing 16 lbs in 2016. Sounds good to me!!
SO... carb watching (which I totally didn't do today) and exercise (which I also didn't do today) for the win. I want to cook more at home and eat more meat and veggies. I can do that. I want to make a point to go to the gym more often than I have the last month. That shouldn't be hard. I just need to build it into my daily / weekly routines.
Here's to a happy, healthy 2016!
Friday, November 20, 2015
22 lbs and counting!
I weighed in at 128.0 this morning, which means I am down 22.4 lbs since the middle of July. Yay! It also means I'm getting very close to the "healthy" BMI weight for my height. My goal is to weigh 127 lbs by the end of the year. Even though my weight loss has slowed down considerably since school started, I think this is doable. Here's to a healthy new year!
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
19.5
That's what my scale says I've lost since the middle of July. 19.5 lbs. That puts me at 3.5 lbs from a healthy BMI. Next stop... 127.5 lbs!
Monday, October 19, 2015
Slowing Down
Well, school has started and with it comes a slow down in weight loss, an increase in comfort fooding, an increase in stress levels, and fewer trips to the gym. I've still lost another couple lbs and am down 17.4 lbs, but the slow down is a little bit frustrating. At the same time, though, the slow down isn't frustrating, because I know that my change in habits has been the culprit.
All the same, I'd like to get back on track. Mind you, I have been doing pretty well at not eating sugars or too many extra carbs, but I haven't been tracking, so I know I haven't been doing as well as I was. I'd say tracking is the answer, but that gets harder during the school year. Still, I should try to climb back on that bandwagon.
Leif is out of town this week, so getting to the gym will be limited to the mid-day break I have. I'm going to try to go 3 times. Not sure if I'll make it, but that's my aim.
All the same, I'd like to get back on track. Mind you, I have been doing pretty well at not eating sugars or too many extra carbs, but I haven't been tracking, so I know I haven't been doing as well as I was. I'd say tracking is the answer, but that gets harder during the school year. Still, I should try to climb back on that bandwagon.
Leif is out of town this week, so getting to the gym will be limited to the mid-day break I have. I'm going to try to go 3 times. Not sure if I'll make it, but that's my aim.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
9 week IR
About 9 weeks ago I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance. I weighed 150.4 lbs. My doctor put me on Metformin and a low carb diet. The day after I was diagnosed, I wrote a post detailing my goals of losing 9 lbs in the next 9 weeks.
So... here we are 9 weeks later. My goal was to reach 141.4 lbs. I now weigh 134.6. I've lost 15.8 lbs!!
My bmi is 26.3, which is overweight, but not obese. The upper limit of a healthy bmi for me is 127.6 lbs. So my new goal is to lose 7 lbs, hopefully by the end of October.
I have an appointment with the endocrinologist this week on Wednesday, so I'll find out how my numbers look then.
Hooray for progress and new goals!!
So... here we are 9 weeks later. My goal was to reach 141.4 lbs. I now weigh 134.6. I've lost 15.8 lbs!!
My bmi is 26.3, which is overweight, but not obese. The upper limit of a healthy bmi for me is 127.6 lbs. So my new goal is to lose 7 lbs, hopefully by the end of October.
I have an appointment with the endocrinologist this week on Wednesday, so I'll find out how my numbers look then.
Hooray for progress and new goals!!
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
Back on Track
Today was a much more balanced eating day. Hooray! I ended the day with 1,211 calories, 61g fat, 81g carb, 99g protein, 31g fiber.
I didn't feel well today, mostly sluggish and headachy. I ended up taking a nap this afternoon. I still don't feel like I've recovered from the high fat diet of the weekend, so perhaps that contributed to my malaise.
I didn't feel well today, mostly sluggish and headachy. I ended up taking a nap this afternoon. I still don't feel like I've recovered from the high fat diet of the weekend, so perhaps that contributed to my malaise.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Weekend Eating
My eating this weekend has been sketchy. I've kept my calories low (today was the highest at a little over 1200) and my carbs low, but not a whole lot in the way of veggies or scheduled mealtimes with well thought out meals. I'm looking forward to returning to normal tomorrow.
That said, I did eat out successfully last night (at Sweet Chili's) and avoid carbiness. I also experimented with some recipes today (sugar free avocado pudding) and that was fun.
Normalcy tomorrow, though, will be nice!
That said, I did eat out successfully last night (at Sweet Chili's) and avoid carbiness. I also experimented with some recipes today (sugar free avocado pudding) and that was fun.
Normalcy tomorrow, though, will be nice!
Monday, July 27, 2015
Weigh In
When I weighed on my home scale a couple days ago, it said my weight was 150.4. I started using that as my official start weight on SparkPeople. This morning I got up (before 6 -- weird) and weighed and it said 148.8. Woohoo! I don't know if that is the result of the low carb IR plan, or just normal fluctuation, but it's exciting.
I haven't been exercising much the past few days, but am hoping to start incorporating that in this next week.
It's a new day, and a new week, and it's going to be a great one!
I haven't been exercising much the past few days, but am hoping to start incorporating that in this next week.
It's a new day, and a new week, and it's going to be a great one!
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Day 4
Ended today at 1,136 calories, 80g carbs. Trying to get my daily fiber up isn't going as well as I'd like. Still haven't heard from the pharmacy as to whether my Metformin prescription is done, so I'll call tomorrow.
I forgot to weigh in this morning before I ate anything, but I weighed in after breakfast, and it said I'd lost a little already. Tomorrow I'll do an official weigh.
I've been adding in a round or two of Babybel cheddar each day, mostly because it's a good protein snack with no carbs. I'm going to try string cheese this week. I am seeming to do fine on it, so we'll see. Maybe my dairy issues were related to the sugars after all. Then again, I've been having headaches the last few days, but I think that's more carb and sugar withdrawl than anything. I'll keep up my cheese experiment and see how it goes for a week.
In addition to my fiber intake being low (I tried really hard to get more fiber today and still only got 19g), my daily fat content seems high. Now, I realize that I am eating more "good" fats, but I'm still going over what Spark People recommends. So... That's what I'm working toward. More fiber, less fat.
My fiber intake these last four days has been... 15, 20, 11, 19
My fat intake these last four days has been...... 61, 62, 71, 65
I'd love to get my daily dietary habits fine tuned before school starts.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
IR Day 1
Today I headed back to SparkPeople to track my calories, carbs, etc. I'm aiming for between 50 and 150 grams of carbs per day. I hit 75. I'm aiming for 1250-1500 calories a day. I hit 1037. Not quite there, but I'm over 1000, so I'm just going to leave it. I didn't eat the birthday cupcakes tonight for Eliana's birthday celebration with Grammee and Grandad.
My vitamins make up 21g carbs daily. My breakfast protein shake makes up another 21. I suppose if I want to eliminate more carbs, I can switch to pills and make my shakes from powder and almond milk. We'll see if I decide to go that route to save a few grams. I might do that on the weekends, or on these summer days when I have time in the morning.
I entered a new weight loss goal in Spark People. I want to lose 9 lbs by my birthday, in 9 weeks. That seems doable (I say with trepidation given my past results with weight loss attempts...) given my low carb and MetFormin changes. I'm going to try it.
Hypothetically, if I could maintain a 1lb per week weight loss schedule, I could weigh 120 by New Years! I would be excited about that. Like.... Super excited! For now, though, I'm going to try for 9 lbs over the next 9 weeks.
I should weigh myself in the morning and see what my scale says I weigh. The endocrinologist's scale says I weigh 70kg, or 154lb. That's what I put in Spark People and what I figured my goal weight on.
As it stands right now, my BMI is 30.1, officially obese. Again. Yep, time for a plan.
Insulin Resistance
Yesterday I had a follow up appointment with the endocrinologist after my initial appointment and lab work 3 weeks ago. My lab work showed that I am have Insulin Resistance. It is good to have some answers, and the IR makes so much sense given the struggles I have had over the years. What it means for me is more dietary change. I've returned to Spark People (today, at least... I have a bit of a spotty record when it comes to tracking consistently) to help me track my food.
According to my blood tests, my body requires about 4x as much insulin to process glucose as a normal system does. That insulin flooding my system does two things: 1) It tells my body that I need to eat more. 2) It tells my body to store the resources as fat. The more I weigh, the more insulin my body produces. The more insulin my body produces, the more it stores the food as fat, the more I weigh. It's a vicious cycle.
Fortunately, if we can get the upward spiral to head the other direction, it will be a vicious cycle that works in my favor. If I can get my insulin levels lower, I should start to lose weight. If I lose weight, my body will produce less insulin. HOPE!
I will be going on MetFormin to help lower my insulin levels, and implementing a low carb diet (in addition to the GFDF I have been on the last 2 years). That means limiting carbs and pairing them with protein when I do eat them. Taking sugar (the majority of sugar, at least) out of my diet is going to be difficult. I can do it, but it's going to take work to figure out which staples we use that need to be revised/replaced. My GFDF diet has been fairly high carb, so it will take some adjusting.
That's where I am today. I weeded some stuff out of the pantry, which needed to be done anyway.
The endocrinologist's office weighed me at 70 kg. That's 154 lbs. Official high. :( Boo. I'm going to start by working to lower that by 30ish lbs. I don't have a real plan at this point, but I need to come up with one stat.
According to my blood tests, my body requires about 4x as much insulin to process glucose as a normal system does. That insulin flooding my system does two things: 1) It tells my body that I need to eat more. 2) It tells my body to store the resources as fat. The more I weigh, the more insulin my body produces. The more insulin my body produces, the more it stores the food as fat, the more I weigh. It's a vicious cycle.
Fortunately, if we can get the upward spiral to head the other direction, it will be a vicious cycle that works in my favor. If I can get my insulin levels lower, I should start to lose weight. If I lose weight, my body will produce less insulin. HOPE!
I will be going on MetFormin to help lower my insulin levels, and implementing a low carb diet (in addition to the GFDF I have been on the last 2 years). That means limiting carbs and pairing them with protein when I do eat them. Taking sugar (the majority of sugar, at least) out of my diet is going to be difficult. I can do it, but it's going to take work to figure out which staples we use that need to be revised/replaced. My GFDF diet has been fairly high carb, so it will take some adjusting.
That's where I am today. I weeded some stuff out of the pantry, which needed to be done anyway.
The endocrinologist's office weighed me at 70 kg. That's 154 lbs. Official high. :( Boo. I'm going to start by working to lower that by 30ish lbs. I don't have a real plan at this point, but I need to come up with one stat.
Monday, January 27, 2014
127.5
That's the uppermost limit of a healthy weight according to my BMI.
It's also about 20 lbs less than I weigh right now.
Of course, what I weigh right now is about 10 lbs less than what I weighed a few months ago. And that's good.
I am overweight. But I am no longer obese. Thank you, Lord!
I had been feeling better the past month and was considering adding exercise into my routine again, somehow. Then last night my RA flared up again, after being more or less okay for a couple months. Today I was so sore it hurt to breathe because my ribs hurt when I inhaled. *sigh* (ouch)
Honestly, this flare is better than the ones this summer before I was on the MTX, so that is good. But no flare would feel better.
I had a good weekend. I got things done, like helping Eliana clean her room, including doing laundry and putting together her uniforms for the week. It was good. We made her lunches for the week together, too. Then, by about 2:30, I was done. Out of energy. Nothing left. D.O.N.E. But I didn't have much in the way of school work to do, so it was okay. It was nice, in fact, to be able to be DONE when my energy ran out. It was nice not to have a pile of demands screaming at me, and instead just to be able to listen to my body and rest when I needed to.
Today, however, I had things that had to be done. Class to be taught. Teachers' meeting to attend. An evening visit to friends that had to be made. I pushed through and got everything done, but am wondering how that will affect tomorrow. It is now 11pm and I really need to be heading to bed.
In all honesty, though, I am scared to go to bed. If I hurt this much now, and laying still all night long just makes me stiff in the morning, how much will I hurt tomorrow? The morning stiffness didn't go away today. It just got worse. If I sleep and the stiffness starts out worse tomorrow, will I be able to do what is required of me? These are my fears.
Fear, though, doesn't come from Christ. And the trouble that I fear is from tomorrow. I can do nothing about what may or may not happen tomorrow. So I set my fears aside (repeatedly, if necessary) and cling to the hope that keeps me going: that my God is sufficient for me. His grace is sufficient for me. His mercies are new every morning. So I am headed to bed, with hope in my heart for all that tomorrow will bring. Tomorrow might bring more pain. It might bring relief. Either way, it is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it. I will thank Him for the pain, as it causes me to grow. I will thank Him for the relief as it allows me to accomplish the tasks before me. I will thank Him for the pain, as it forces me to lean on Him. I will thank Him for the relief, as it allows those He's placed in my care to lean on me. Each day is a new opportunity for growth, for life, for grace, for mercy, for glory... His glory.
Great is His faithfulness. Amen.
It's also about 20 lbs less than I weigh right now.
Of course, what I weigh right now is about 10 lbs less than what I weighed a few months ago. And that's good.
I am overweight. But I am no longer obese. Thank you, Lord!
I had been feeling better the past month and was considering adding exercise into my routine again, somehow. Then last night my RA flared up again, after being more or less okay for a couple months. Today I was so sore it hurt to breathe because my ribs hurt when I inhaled. *sigh* (ouch)
Honestly, this flare is better than the ones this summer before I was on the MTX, so that is good. But no flare would feel better.
I had a good weekend. I got things done, like helping Eliana clean her room, including doing laundry and putting together her uniforms for the week. It was good. We made her lunches for the week together, too. Then, by about 2:30, I was done. Out of energy. Nothing left. D.O.N.E. But I didn't have much in the way of school work to do, so it was okay. It was nice, in fact, to be able to be DONE when my energy ran out. It was nice not to have a pile of demands screaming at me, and instead just to be able to listen to my body and rest when I needed to.
Today, however, I had things that had to be done. Class to be taught. Teachers' meeting to attend. An evening visit to friends that had to be made. I pushed through and got everything done, but am wondering how that will affect tomorrow. It is now 11pm and I really need to be heading to bed.
In all honesty, though, I am scared to go to bed. If I hurt this much now, and laying still all night long just makes me stiff in the morning, how much will I hurt tomorrow? The morning stiffness didn't go away today. It just got worse. If I sleep and the stiffness starts out worse tomorrow, will I be able to do what is required of me? These are my fears.
Fear, though, doesn't come from Christ. And the trouble that I fear is from tomorrow. I can do nothing about what may or may not happen tomorrow. So I set my fears aside (repeatedly, if necessary) and cling to the hope that keeps me going: that my God is sufficient for me. His grace is sufficient for me. His mercies are new every morning. So I am headed to bed, with hope in my heart for all that tomorrow will bring. Tomorrow might bring more pain. It might bring relief. Either way, it is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it. I will thank Him for the pain, as it causes me to grow. I will thank Him for the relief as it allows me to accomplish the tasks before me. I will thank Him for the pain, as it forces me to lean on Him. I will thank Him for the relief, as it allows those He's placed in my care to lean on me. Each day is a new opportunity for growth, for life, for grace, for mercy, for glory... His glory.
Great is His faithfulness. Amen.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Freezer Meals for the Crock Pot
In attempt to simplify some of my meal planning, I am making some meals for the freezer. I am making up some freezer meals for the crock pot as well. As I'm looking for good recipes, I thought it might be nice to compile the GFDF recipes I find in one place.
Chicken Tacos
Herb Roasted Chicken and Veggies
Spicy Honey Sesame Chicken
Quinoa Chicken Chili
Chicken Peanut Curry
Pot Roast with Shallots and Carrots
Pepper Steak Roast
Roast with Potatoes, Onions, and Carrots
Balsamic Roast
Beef Stew
Pulled Pork
Baked Potatoes
Caramelized Onions
Chicken with Sweet Potatoes
Wild Rice Stuffed Chicken Breast
Mulligatawny Chicken Soup
Here's a list of 10 easy Crock Pot Freezer Meals as well:
http://www.mommysfabulousfinds.com/2013/10/easy-crock-pot-freezer-meals-2.html
I don't know that I'll make them all, but at least I have a pile of recipes in one place now.
Chicken Tacos
Herb Roasted Chicken and Veggies
Spicy Honey Sesame Chicken
Quinoa Chicken Chili
Chicken Peanut Curry
Pot Roast with Shallots and Carrots
Pepper Steak Roast
Roast with Potatoes, Onions, and Carrots
Balsamic Roast
Beef Stew
Pulled Pork
Baked Potatoes
Caramelized Onions
Chicken with Sweet Potatoes
Wild Rice Stuffed Chicken Breast
Mulligatawny Chicken Soup
Here's a list of 10 easy Crock Pot Freezer Meals as well:
http://www.mommysfabulousfinds.com/2013/10/easy-crock-pot-freezer-meals-2.html
I don't know that I'll make them all, but at least I have a pile of recipes in one place now.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Reducing Stress
Over the past few months, since I was diagnosed with RA, several things have happened:
1. I have been on Methotrexate since the middle of August. We have upped my prescription twice, and I am now at the "full" dose for RA. It has been making my hair fall out, so I have also upped my Folic Acid and I am using keratin fibers to "fill in" the thin spots for my vanity.
2. I went back to teaching (part time) at the end of August. I love being back in the classroom. I am so thankful to be teaching only part time, so that I can take the time I need to adequately prepare at a pace that is not too strenuous for me.
3. Leif had a second surgery to repair his ACL. This caused some stress, which caused an RA flare up.
4. I have continued to eat gluten- and dairy-free and have no desire to return to life as it was before.
5. I have learned things about myself and my disease and am working with my rheumatologist to find a lasting balance that will keep my symptoms in check.
6. I am at the lowest weight I have been in the last 3 years!
REDUCING STRESS
I am convinced that some of my weight loss is because I have had to make a conscious effort to reduce stress in my life.
I don't have a social life any more, at least not one that has any resemblance to the life I had before. I have one small group of friends who come over on Thurdays and we have have a book study together. Right now we are reading "Breaking Bad Habits; Making Good Habits" by Joyce Meyer. It's a good read. I recommend it.
I don't really find myself craving food any more, since I cut gluten and dairy out of my diet. I have started working, so I find myself eating less because I'm focused on the lessons I'm teaching and preparing.
I have stopped exercising, mostly because Jazzercise no longer fits into the schedule I keep. I'd like to find an exercise routine that will fit into my schedule. I think it will help my joints and it will keep my stress levels down, both of which will help my RA.
I now only have time for God, family, and work. This means that I am better able to focus on God, family, and work.
I now have a daily / weekly schedule that I keep. It's a schedule that is working well for me and working well for Eliana. I have freedom with a part time schedule, but also have the structure that I have wanted for so long. So does Eliana.
So... how do I reduce my stress levels? First off, stress reduction is no longer a luxury; it is a necessity if I want to manage my RA symptoms. Stress actually makes me hurt. It flares up my immune system, which in turn attaks my joints. It's one thing to know that stress is bad for me; it's another thing to feel the pain stress causes. I know that if I stay up too late, I will hurt the next day. If I do too many things in a week, I will hurt the next few days. If I let situations get to me and get stressed out about them, I will have a flare up. If I procrastinate on my work and leave it until the last moment, it causes me physical pain. So instead of doing these things, I ....
1) Plan ahead. I plan my clothes for the week. I plan Eliana's clothes for the week. I make Eliana's lunches ahead of time. I keep food in my desk drawer so I am prepared if I forget. I plan out my lessons ahead of time so that I don't have that weekly task hanging over my shoulders. I plan ahead and avoid procrastinating.
2) I take one moment at a time. I am working on not "borrowing trouble from tomorrow." This means pushing things that worry me out of my mind and focusing at the task at hand until it is time to focus on the things I can do about my worries. It means I give my full attention to my students when I am teaching instead of trying to answer their questions and grade or write lessons at the same time. It means savoring the moment I am in and enjoying the present.
3) I go to sleep. I am still not the most consistent about bedtimes, but I am much more consistent than I was three months ago. I do not have the luxury of sleeping in any longer. As a result, I make a point to go to bed earlier.
4) I do my laundry on a schedule. Granted, that schedule is one weekend a month, but I know when I am going to do the laundry, so even if the basket is overflowing I do not feel the burden of the laundry because I know that now is not the time. Until, of course, it is time. Then laundry is about the only thing I get done over the weekend.
5) I say "no" to friends and activities that I would like to do. Sometimes other activities trump the "fun" ones. I don't apologize for not being able to attend every party or baby shower or get together any more. I would like to go. I could go. But the pain is not worth the momentary pleasure of a coffee date or party. So I have to say no. A lot. And I'm sure I have a lot of friends who feel like I have abandoned them. I hope they know I have not. But I'm also not stressing over whether they feel deprived of my company, because that, too, would cause me pain. :) Stress is not worth it.
6) I take more baths. Baths allow me to relax, sit still, and soak my aching joints. In fact, I'm in the bath right now typing this, because they also let me mentally relax and give me the opportunity to think.
I have prayed for years for balance. It seems like I am finally getting the answer to that prayer, though I never thought it would come in the form of RA. But I am learning balance. Thank you, Father!
1. I have been on Methotrexate since the middle of August. We have upped my prescription twice, and I am now at the "full" dose for RA. It has been making my hair fall out, so I have also upped my Folic Acid and I am using keratin fibers to "fill in" the thin spots for my vanity.
2. I went back to teaching (part time) at the end of August. I love being back in the classroom. I am so thankful to be teaching only part time, so that I can take the time I need to adequately prepare at a pace that is not too strenuous for me.
3. Leif had a second surgery to repair his ACL. This caused some stress, which caused an RA flare up.
4. I have continued to eat gluten- and dairy-free and have no desire to return to life as it was before.
5. I have learned things about myself and my disease and am working with my rheumatologist to find a lasting balance that will keep my symptoms in check.
6. I am at the lowest weight I have been in the last 3 years!
REDUCING STRESS
I am convinced that some of my weight loss is because I have had to make a conscious effort to reduce stress in my life.
I don't have a social life any more, at least not one that has any resemblance to the life I had before. I have one small group of friends who come over on Thurdays and we have have a book study together. Right now we are reading "Breaking Bad Habits; Making Good Habits" by Joyce Meyer. It's a good read. I recommend it.
I don't really find myself craving food any more, since I cut gluten and dairy out of my diet. I have started working, so I find myself eating less because I'm focused on the lessons I'm teaching and preparing.
I have stopped exercising, mostly because Jazzercise no longer fits into the schedule I keep. I'd like to find an exercise routine that will fit into my schedule. I think it will help my joints and it will keep my stress levels down, both of which will help my RA.
I now only have time for God, family, and work. This means that I am better able to focus on God, family, and work.
I now have a daily / weekly schedule that I keep. It's a schedule that is working well for me and working well for Eliana. I have freedom with a part time schedule, but also have the structure that I have wanted for so long. So does Eliana.
So... how do I reduce my stress levels? First off, stress reduction is no longer a luxury; it is a necessity if I want to manage my RA symptoms. Stress actually makes me hurt. It flares up my immune system, which in turn attaks my joints. It's one thing to know that stress is bad for me; it's another thing to feel the pain stress causes. I know that if I stay up too late, I will hurt the next day. If I do too many things in a week, I will hurt the next few days. If I let situations get to me and get stressed out about them, I will have a flare up. If I procrastinate on my work and leave it until the last moment, it causes me physical pain. So instead of doing these things, I ....
1) Plan ahead. I plan my clothes for the week. I plan Eliana's clothes for the week. I make Eliana's lunches ahead of time. I keep food in my desk drawer so I am prepared if I forget. I plan out my lessons ahead of time so that I don't have that weekly task hanging over my shoulders. I plan ahead and avoid procrastinating.
2) I take one moment at a time. I am working on not "borrowing trouble from tomorrow." This means pushing things that worry me out of my mind and focusing at the task at hand until it is time to focus on the things I can do about my worries. It means I give my full attention to my students when I am teaching instead of trying to answer their questions and grade or write lessons at the same time. It means savoring the moment I am in and enjoying the present.
3) I go to sleep. I am still not the most consistent about bedtimes, but I am much more consistent than I was three months ago. I do not have the luxury of sleeping in any longer. As a result, I make a point to go to bed earlier.
4) I do my laundry on a schedule. Granted, that schedule is one weekend a month, but I know when I am going to do the laundry, so even if the basket is overflowing I do not feel the burden of the laundry because I know that now is not the time. Until, of course, it is time. Then laundry is about the only thing I get done over the weekend.
5) I say "no" to friends and activities that I would like to do. Sometimes other activities trump the "fun" ones. I don't apologize for not being able to attend every party or baby shower or get together any more. I would like to go. I could go. But the pain is not worth the momentary pleasure of a coffee date or party. So I have to say no. A lot. And I'm sure I have a lot of friends who feel like I have abandoned them. I hope they know I have not. But I'm also not stressing over whether they feel deprived of my company, because that, too, would cause me pain. :) Stress is not worth it.
6) I take more baths. Baths allow me to relax, sit still, and soak my aching joints. In fact, I'm in the bath right now typing this, because they also let me mentally relax and give me the opportunity to think.
I have prayed for years for balance. It seems like I am finally getting the answer to that prayer, though I never thought it would come in the form of RA. But I am learning balance. Thank you, Father!
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