Well, I am falling asleep, so goodnight!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
I'm too tired to say much about today.
We had a lovely steak dinner and ate outside while Eliana played in the sprinkler. I didn't eat well for lunch because I forgot my carrots and dip at Tamara's house, and that's what I was planning on eating before my class at Keepsakes! So instead I had some Reese's candies before I drove home because I was feeling dizzy and didn't think it wise to drive without SOMETHING in my system! Not good, but oh well. I didn't pass out while driving home and I consider that a blessing! I really thought the nice big protein rich breakfast would have helped stabilize my blood sugar, but it was apparently not enough to carry me through until dinner. Oh well. Tomorrow we have a picnic after church, but I don't think we'll go to it. I think Leif is hoping we can get out and do something together as a family.
Well, I am falling asleep, so goodnight!
Well, I am falling asleep, so goodnight!
Friday, May 30, 2008
I will not eat the bread of idleness.
A Wife of Noble Character
10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
I'm taking one step at a time, and today I will not eat the bread of idleness. I will busy myself with the things I should be doing and face my responsibilities head on. I will use my mouth to pray for others and train my child and not as a portal for food to bury my feelings of shortcoming. His grace is sufficient for me, and today I lean on that grace and not my own strength. And today I will not eat the bread of idleness.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Now... where did I leave off?
*sigh*
Consistency is such a hard thing. And not just in eating right and exercising. No, consistency is pretty hard in every area of my life, from housekeeping to parenting to crafting to exercise to eating right. And unfortunately, I have noticed that if one are of my life gets out of balance, it's not long before all the rest do too.
And it's pretty obvious that *this* area of my life (that is, the eating right and exercising part of my life) is out of balance right now.
I feel like all of my life is sort of spinning off kilter and I've spent the week trying each day to address my eating issues. I start the day off okay, but once I start to feel myself slipping I seem to tumble head first into temptation. I don't even have bad things to snack on in the house and I manage to eat poorly, mostly in the form of over eating or snacking!
My weight loss plan is not the problem. My problem is that I have let my life fall out of balance. My craft room isn't getting clean because I have no motivation to do it... it isn't getting clean because I feel overwhelmed! The same for the laundry still in the basked that needs to be put away and the kitchen counter that I get 80% clean and never finish. I am not just taking two steps forward and one step back in my diet... I'm doing it all over the place.
So I need to get to the root of the problem. I need to get my LIFE back in control before I can even think about succeeding in getting my weight back in control. Because my over eating and over indulgence is not a problem. It's a symptom. And I cannot deal with my weight until I deal with all of the areas that are now out of balance. So let's just look at the areas of my life, shall we?
SPIRITUAL - There's been a pretty consistent decline in all of the categories below with the decline of this, and it directly correlates to the week I lost my Bible study book. I couldn't find it for 3 weeks and now that I've finally found it, we just finished the study. So my goal is to go back and finish the last few weeks of the study that I missed because I couldn't find my book. I need to get back in the Word, because if I don't fill my mind with truth I know that I am leaving it open to lies. And I have been hearing some lies lately, about who I am and what is important and I am ready to replace those lies with truth.
HOUSEWORK - This is the most visible evidence of one or more areas of my life getting out of balance. And I just cannot get a handle on it until I get everything back into perspective. But this is also the area that speaks the most love to my husband. For him to come home to a clean house and a hot meal is about the equivalent of him showering me with affirming words, compliments, and gifts. I also gain a huge sense of accomplishment when the house is clean and I am up to date on all the laundry. It allows me to relax and craft without feeling a burden over my head. It makes me feel happy and calm, and that goes a long way to making me a better parent and more inclined to take care of my body the way I should.
PARENTING - When my priorities are out of order, I get lazy. My laziness translates in my eating and my housework, and the way I parent my daughter. I don't want to be consistent in disciplining her, because it takes time away from selfish, lazy me. When everything is in balance, I can see what needs to be done and I can do it because I know what is best for her. When I have lost perspective, all I'm really thinking about is me, and that is not good for her. I let her get away with things that she ought to go to time out for. I don't spend the quality time that I should with her. I go for the lazy route and feed her "easy" meals instead of a varied diet. And I model for her a slothful woman, slow to work, who does not eat food that is nourishing to her body. I want to model, instead, the virtuous woman, the woman who is industrious and does not eat the bread of idleness. I want to be active and play with my daughter, thinking up creative activities for us to do together that will engage her mind and exercise her skills.
DIET/EXERCISE - I have set up a plan for myself to help me be consistent with my diet and exercise. I know what I need to do, but, much like with parenting, I am selfish and lazy and don't want to do it. I am seeking comfort in food instead of seeking comfort from the Word. I get fidgety so I eat instead of putting that energy to good use and making the bed or putting away the laundry. I let the rainy weather affect my mood and I convince myself that I cannot exercise because of the rain, despite the fact that we have a perfectly good treadmill, step, swiss ball, and exercise videos downstairs waiting for me. I am using food for comfort and escape, and it allows me neither comfort, nor escape from the tasks before me. They are still there when I am done eating and I am not comforted by my full belly. More often than not I feel sick because I ate not out of hunger, but emotion.
CRAFTING - This area of my life is also out of balance, though I don't tend to recognize that as readily. Yet I look around my craft room and I know that it is out of balance, because my craft room is a mess. And I have been working on cleaning it for far too long. Instead of using my craft room as a place of relaxation and creativity, I have been trying to use it as an escape. It is not calming down here. I barely have room to craft. What "crafting" I have done in my wonderful room has been kitting for classes, and that, though fun, is not relaxing. I am usually kitting the day before a class, so I feel an urgency about it and I feel as though I am trying to beat the clock, trying to get it all done before I collapse in exhaustion. And so this, too, must come under control, must fall into balance with everything else. It cannot take the place of time with my daughter. It cannot be an excuse why the house is not clean. It cannot be a place of service to the Master if it is in chaos and there is barely room to work.
So I am in search of balance. I know it won't happen overnight. It didn't fall apart overnight. But I can work toward it, little by little, working in each area to bring everything in balance together.
I have been working on babysteps in the diet/exercise area. I have had my water for 3 days now. Hooray! I have gone on 3+ mile walks a couple times this week! Hooray! But I know that unless I bring the other areas of my life under the lordship of Christ as well, it will be a daily struggle against my flesh and I, left to my own strengths, will keep failing. I claim that Jesus Christ is lord of my LIFE, and I need to start acting like it. He is lord of my LIFE, every area of it, and I have a renewed desire to "take every thought captive", even those thoughts that tell me to eat that large bowl of cereal after I have already had a yogurt for breakfast, or the thoughts that tell me that it makes no sense to try to exercise in the rain and that there are too many other things to do that should keep me from exercising downstairs if I'm going to be in the house.
So that's where I am. I haven't lost or gained this week. And whether I do next week we'll have to see. But first I need to get things back into perspective.
Consistency is such a hard thing. And not just in eating right and exercising. No, consistency is pretty hard in every area of my life, from housekeeping to parenting to crafting to exercise to eating right. And unfortunately, I have noticed that if one are of my life gets out of balance, it's not long before all the rest do too.
And it's pretty obvious that *this* area of my life (that is, the eating right and exercising part of my life) is out of balance right now.
I feel like all of my life is sort of spinning off kilter and I've spent the week trying each day to address my eating issues. I start the day off okay, but once I start to feel myself slipping I seem to tumble head first into temptation. I don't even have bad things to snack on in the house and I manage to eat poorly, mostly in the form of over eating or snacking!
My weight loss plan is not the problem. My problem is that I have let my life fall out of balance. My craft room isn't getting clean because I have no motivation to do it... it isn't getting clean because I feel overwhelmed! The same for the laundry still in the basked that needs to be put away and the kitchen counter that I get 80% clean and never finish. I am not just taking two steps forward and one step back in my diet... I'm doing it all over the place.
So I need to get to the root of the problem. I need to get my LIFE back in control before I can even think about succeeding in getting my weight back in control. Because my over eating and over indulgence is not a problem. It's a symptom. And I cannot deal with my weight until I deal with all of the areas that are now out of balance. So let's just look at the areas of my life, shall we?
SPIRITUAL - There's been a pretty consistent decline in all of the categories below with the decline of this, and it directly correlates to the week I lost my Bible study book. I couldn't find it for 3 weeks and now that I've finally found it, we just finished the study. So my goal is to go back and finish the last few weeks of the study that I missed because I couldn't find my book. I need to get back in the Word, because if I don't fill my mind with truth I know that I am leaving it open to lies. And I have been hearing some lies lately, about who I am and what is important and I am ready to replace those lies with truth.
HOUSEWORK - This is the most visible evidence of one or more areas of my life getting out of balance. And I just cannot get a handle on it until I get everything back into perspective. But this is also the area that speaks the most love to my husband. For him to come home to a clean house and a hot meal is about the equivalent of him showering me with affirming words, compliments, and gifts. I also gain a huge sense of accomplishment when the house is clean and I am up to date on all the laundry. It allows me to relax and craft without feeling a burden over my head. It makes me feel happy and calm, and that goes a long way to making me a better parent and more inclined to take care of my body the way I should.
PARENTING - When my priorities are out of order, I get lazy. My laziness translates in my eating and my housework, and the way I parent my daughter. I don't want to be consistent in disciplining her, because it takes time away from selfish, lazy me. When everything is in balance, I can see what needs to be done and I can do it because I know what is best for her. When I have lost perspective, all I'm really thinking about is me, and that is not good for her. I let her get away with things that she ought to go to time out for. I don't spend the quality time that I should with her. I go for the lazy route and feed her "easy" meals instead of a varied diet. And I model for her a slothful woman, slow to work, who does not eat food that is nourishing to her body. I want to model, instead, the virtuous woman, the woman who is industrious and does not eat the bread of idleness. I want to be active and play with my daughter, thinking up creative activities for us to do together that will engage her mind and exercise her skills.
DIET/EXERCISE - I have set up a plan for myself to help me be consistent with my diet and exercise. I know what I need to do, but, much like with parenting, I am selfish and lazy and don't want to do it. I am seeking comfort in food instead of seeking comfort from the Word. I get fidgety so I eat instead of putting that energy to good use and making the bed or putting away the laundry. I let the rainy weather affect my mood and I convince myself that I cannot exercise because of the rain, despite the fact that we have a perfectly good treadmill, step, swiss ball, and exercise videos downstairs waiting for me. I am using food for comfort and escape, and it allows me neither comfort, nor escape from the tasks before me. They are still there when I am done eating and I am not comforted by my full belly. More often than not I feel sick because I ate not out of hunger, but emotion.
CRAFTING - This area of my life is also out of balance, though I don't tend to recognize that as readily. Yet I look around my craft room and I know that it is out of balance, because my craft room is a mess. And I have been working on cleaning it for far too long. Instead of using my craft room as a place of relaxation and creativity, I have been trying to use it as an escape. It is not calming down here. I barely have room to craft. What "crafting" I have done in my wonderful room has been kitting for classes, and that, though fun, is not relaxing. I am usually kitting the day before a class, so I feel an urgency about it and I feel as though I am trying to beat the clock, trying to get it all done before I collapse in exhaustion. And so this, too, must come under control, must fall into balance with everything else. It cannot take the place of time with my daughter. It cannot be an excuse why the house is not clean. It cannot be a place of service to the Master if it is in chaos and there is barely room to work.
So I am in search of balance. I know it won't happen overnight. It didn't fall apart overnight. But I can work toward it, little by little, working in each area to bring everything in balance together.
I have been working on babysteps in the diet/exercise area. I have had my water for 3 days now. Hooray! I have gone on 3+ mile walks a couple times this week! Hooray! But I know that unless I bring the other areas of my life under the lordship of Christ as well, it will be a daily struggle against my flesh and I, left to my own strengths, will keep failing. I claim that Jesus Christ is lord of my LIFE, and I need to start acting like it. He is lord of my LIFE, every area of it, and I have a renewed desire to "take every thought captive", even those thoughts that tell me to eat that large bowl of cereal after I have already had a yogurt for breakfast, or the thoughts that tell me that it makes no sense to try to exercise in the rain and that there are too many other things to do that should keep me from exercising downstairs if I'm going to be in the house.
So that's where I am. I haven't lost or gained this week. And whether I do next week we'll have to see. But first I need to get things back into perspective.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
It wouldn't be so funny...
This wouldn't be nearly as funny if I hadn't just eaten fried green beans with ranch for lunch. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.
Friday, May 23, 2008
one step at a time...
Well, the baby stepping didn't go so well yesterday. I intended to record my food, but then I didn't. So I guess yesterday's baby step was just stepping on the scale. Because that's about all I accomplished. So my goal today was to actually record what I ate. And... so far so good! I have actually recorded my food and, despite two cupcakes (that would be breakfast and then lunch), I have enough calories left over for some ice cream tonight. Which is good, because....
I TURNED DOWN A BLIZZARD TONIGHT!
That's right... Leif called me from town saying he knew I had a bad day and wanted to bring me home a blizzard. I thanked him and said I preferred some of the ice cream we had at home and a snuggle with him instead. And I have to admit that I'm proud of myself, because I really wanted that blizzard!
I TURNED DOWN A BLIZZARD TONIGHT!
That's right... Leif called me from town saying he knew I had a bad day and wanted to bring me home a blizzard. I thanked him and said I preferred some of the ice cream we had at home and a snuggle with him instead. And I have to admit that I'm proud of myself, because I really wanted that blizzard!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
baby steps
Rainy days make me sad. Sick children make me sad. Sad makes me eat comfort food. And that is my summary of the last few days. Feeling too frumpy to get exercise, too sad to eat anything but comfort food, too frazzled to get anything done, and too scared to step on the scale.
But today I'm taking baby steps. So I might not jump back into my routine whole-heartedly. I can at least do SOMETHING.
I started by stepping on the scale. It says 117.0. That's down .8 from Monday, and up 2.2 lbs from 2 weeks ago. That's a starting place.
It's 10:30. I'm going to eat some breakfast and record what I eat.
Baby steps. One at a time.
But today I'm taking baby steps. So I might not jump back into my routine whole-heartedly. I can at least do SOMETHING.
I started by stepping on the scale. It says 117.0. That's down .8 from Monday, and up 2.2 lbs from 2 weeks ago. That's a starting place.
It's 10:30. I'm going to eat some breakfast and record what I eat.
Baby steps. One at a time.
Monday, May 19, 2008
back with the program
Just got done exercising. I did the week 2 day 1 Couch to 5K workout (90 second/2 minute run/walk intervals for about half an hour) and went about 2 miles, followed by 4 miles of walking. And it was my first time running with Ellie in the stroller! I wasn't sure how it would go, but I stocked her up with a couple toys, some milk, juice, and water, and some snacks and she was good to go. We were out for our walk/run for an hour and a half. So... 90 minutes to go 6 miles makes for a 15 minute mile. Not bad! Now I'm working on chugging my water - not as easy to do while walking or running!
Today is Leif's birthday. We're going to the Obama rally (not for Obama so much as just to attend a political rally - they don't come to Bozeman very often!) which means I'm picking Leif up from work, which means we're eating dinner in town tonight. So I'm trying to keep my calories and points down so I have room for dinner.
Today is Leif's birthday. We're going to the Obama rally (not for Obama so much as just to attend a political rally - they don't come to Bozeman very often!) which means I'm picking Leif up from work, which means we're eating dinner in town tonight. So I'm trying to keep my calories and points down so I have room for dinner.
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