Tomorrow....

It's a little late for today, but TOMORROW I will...

... Weigh in
... Juice
... Record my calories
... Do my devotions
... Exercise
... Make a dent in my to-do list

I have been slacking and it's GOING TO STOP. It's time for a change.

Moderation is not my strong point.

If it's not the 3 glasses of eggnog in an afternoon (at 440 calories per glass!!) it's the other end of the spectrum with a dearth of calories....

I started calorie counting today. I think I might have hit bottom when I got on the scale and saw it up 10 lbs from what I was just a few months ago! So discouraging! But today I did something about it, and it didn't include comfort food!

I started calorie counting today. And I'd forgotten how hard it was to count calories! Not so hard to do the counting, as how hungry I got when I wasn't shoving food into my face every time I felt like it. I was away from home for most of the day, but I limited my beverage consumption to water and coffee (which is calorie free if I drink it black - and I did!) and so I wasn't snacking all the time like I would have been at home. That was a lifesaver! But I got home and entered everything into Spark People and learned that even after calculating my dinner calories (leftover tortilla soup - and I skipped the cheese on it) I was still only at 500 some calories for the day! Sigh... moderation is not my strong point. If I'm not over eating, I'm under eating. Will I ever learn?

The good news is that I'm now up to 850 calories, so maybe I have a little room for a snack later on. I did drink some full sugar pop with dinner, but I limited it to 8 oz, and I don't feel badly about the calories given the rest of my caloric dearth of a day.

So... 300 or so calories to go tonight. That's not too bad, and I will eat them. I also have 32 oz of water to drink still and something else from the fruit and veggie family to consume. I'm making apple butter tonight (because we're canning tomorrow!) so maybe I'll eat an apple.

Anyway, I'm back on the wagon. It's been too long and too many lbs and now I have 20 lbs to lose instead of 10. So... off to change some habits again and see where that gets me.

Struggling...

... both with weight AND motivation. I stink at losing weight this time of year. I am all about comfort food. And I'm up another lb today. Grrr.

It probably won't help, either, that I've had both ice cream AND a few oreos today. I guess the good news is that the oreos are gone, so I won't be eating may more of them. There were only about 5 there anyway, but I'm grumpy at myself for eating them.

We're having chicken tortilla soup for dinner tonight, so at least that's not terrible for me. But it's a rainy, dreary day, and that always makes me less motivated to exercise.

On the plus side, I did play DDR with my mom a couple nights last week, so that has given me a taste for it again. Hopefully that will encourage me to get down there and do it some by myself! I'd forgotten how fun it was!

Contentment?

I have a number in my head, a goal that I have been working toward. That number is 110, about 5 lbs from where I am now. And yet I can't seem to get past 115, nor can I seem to find the motivation to get past 115. And so it makes my wonder why.

Is it because I am content at 115?

I admit that I am happy with how I look at this weight. It is within the healthy range for my height and frame, and I feel attractive. So why isn't this my goal weight?

I think a large part of it is because I want to "one-up" a friend from college who is at 115 and happy there. I want to beat her weight, just to prove that I can. I was always just a tad smaller than her in college and I want to be there again. Somehow I feel that that will "redeem" me for being overweight the last 7 years. She made a comment once that hurt and stuck with me, and I just want to prove that I'm not the "big" one of the group any longer. But I don't think that's a healthy reason for wanting to get down to 110. Something I need to deal with? Yes. Something I need to use as motivation for weight loss? No.

Part of my reason for wanting to be 110 is because it is one step closer to the weight I was when I got married. If I can get down to 110 I can get down to 105, and that's what I weighed when I wore my beautiful wedding dress. I would love to get down to that size again!

Part of my reason, too, is that I feel like I ought to be the "ideal" weight for my height and frame, according to the doctor's charts. And for 5 feet tall, small frame, that is 100 lbs. So I just keep setting my goal 5 lbs lower each time I reach it in hopes that someday I will be down to 100 lbs again. Then I would be not just average, but small. And oh, I do miss being small!

So I guess what I need to figure out is if I really need to strive to be smaller, or if I should simply strive for daily moderation and healthy living and be content with my weight and size. I guess I need to rethink my reasons behind wanting to lose weight and make sure that they are honorable and right. At what point do I start trying to maintain my weight instead of lose it?

I will not eat the bread of idleness.

A Wife of Noble Character

10 ^[c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I'm taking one step at a time, and today I will not eat the bread of idleness. I will busy myself with the things I should be doing and face my responsibilities head on. I will use my mouth to pray for others and train my child and not as a portal for food to bury my feelings of shortcoming. His grace is sufficient for me, and today I lean on that grace and not my own strength. And today I will not eat the bread of idleness.

How do you reward yourself?

I find small rewards very helpful while I'm working on losing weight. And I find that I basically reward myself for three things:

1. Staying under 1300 calories.

When I been conservative with calories and end the day with less than 1200, I will treat myself to a snack or dessert that I wouldn't normally get, like ice cream. I try to pick the treat that will take me to 12oo calories and send me over the least. My treat should never take me past 1300, but it still keeps me from feeling like I'm depriving myself, while keeping my calories low.

2. Drinking 2 liters of water.

One of the rules I have unofficially set for myself is "No soda until I've had 2 liters of water." I obviously cheat on this one more often than some of the other rules, but I am getting better, and it makes soda more of a treat when I have had water all day and have been looking forward to that cool carbonated beverage.

3. Exercising.

Usually I don't reward myself for exercising. It is often enough of a reward by itself. But when it has been especially difficult to motivate myself to do the exercise and I do it, then I like to reward myself with something little. Something I can use as motivation to start exercising or to keep exercising for the allotted time. Last night it was a hot bath. I told myself that if I stepped for 30 minutes I would soak in a nice hot bath and read. I also did Satin Hands for my hands and feet, and that is always a treat. I end the day feeling calm and relaxed.

So those are ways I reward myself for meeting daily goals. One is food related (which I know you aren't supposed to do while "dieting", but I really see these as lifelong changes, not a diet.) but motivates me to eat ENOUGH calories in a day, which I tend not to do if I am watching what I eat.

A new day.

Today is a new day.

Today I am going to take control.
Today I am going to eat well.
Today I am going to record what I eat.
Today I am going to exercise.
Today I am going to work on picking up the house.
Today I am going to do my Bible Study.
Today I am going to smile.
Today I am going to live.

Because today is a new day and I am free.

A new day.

Today is a new day.

Today I am going to take control.
Today I am going to eat well. (and I'm not going to eat that last cookie)
Today I am going to record what I eat.
Today I am going to run. (for the first time in February)
Today I am going to work on picking up the house.
Today I am going to do my Bible Study.
Today I am going to smile.
Today I am going to live.

Because today is a new day and I am free.

He said I'm pretty!

Yes, Leif told me I was pretty on Saturday. Normally, you wouldn't think this was a big deal, but for him there is a direct correlation between how much I weigh and how pretty he thinks I am. I've finally lost enough weight that he told me I am pretty!! I've missed it and love knowing that he thinks I'm pretty again. I'm still on cloud nine about that one... *happy sigh*

Hello? Motivation?

... are you there?

Yes, I missed my week 10 weigh day post. I still weighed 119 on Wednesday. I haven't been consistently tracking on SparkPeople, and I haven't been exercising. My motivation is waning. *sigh*

This morning I weighed 118. Yay! At least I'm still losing weight even if I'm not tracking or exercising. I'm not losing as quickly or consistently as I was, but at least it's progress.

Now, if only I could find my missing motivation.

More number crunching....

So I've lost 10 lbs in 6.5 weeks, including a 2 week plateau. If it takes me another 6.5 weeks to lose the next 10 lbs (taking me 1 lb short of my 110 lb September 1st goal), then I should be at 111 lbs by......

AUGUST 22nd.

Let's see if it can happen.

Challenge Change

A bit ago I joined a 4 week challenge and aimed to lose 8 lbs in that time.

Then I plateaued.

It seemed like I plateaued just as the challenge started, then I got discouraged and frustrated. So I'm opting out. I'm still trying to get 30 min cardio in daily, plus drink all my water (10 cups daily), but I'm not focusing on how much weight I'm losing. The weight will come off eventually. I just need to keep eating right, drinking water, and exercising.

But I joined another challenge group. This is the July challenge group and is different from the other. Basically, it's a point system. You get 1 point for each minute of exercise you do, plus 1 bonus point for each cup of water you drink.

So far for July I'm up to 237 points.

I don't know what that means yet, but it has kept me drinking my water. Tomorrow we're hiking Ousel Falls, so I'll get some exercise in, too. Today it was a bit scarce, with just a walk after dinner. But tomorrow is 4th of July, so we'll hike and then watch the fireworks up at Big Sky. It should be a good day.

4 week challenge

I joined a 4 week challenge today on SparkPeople. My aim is to lose 8 lbs (bringing me down to 115 lbs - my intermediate goal) in the next 4 weeks. That's about 2 lbs per week. I've been doing a good job eating, but I need to work on exercising regularly, more than just walking. So right now I'm going to do some step aerobics and get a jump on my exercise while Ellie's napping.

My "Someday" Jeans....

... are a size 3. I just checked. I'm about a size 8 right now, so I've got a waaaaays to go.

Calorie Calculator

Leif found this calculator that will help you figure out what your basal metabolic rate is, how many calories you burn in a typical day's activities (excluding exercise), and how many calories you burn overall each day. I thought it was interesting, and was surprised to learn that I was right about this all along. I've always thought that 1200-1500 calories was right for me when I'm trying to lose weight and that 1700/1800 was about what I needed to maintain my weight. Sure enough, the calculator agrees with me.

Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1239 calories per day
Typical daily activities: 619 calories per day
Total calories burned: 1858 per day

Now for a little math:

So... assuming I am not exercising at all, if I take in 1200 calories and am expending 1850, that gives me an excess of 650 calories a day. 1 pound of fat = 3500 calories. So if I don't exercise at all, just reduce my calorie intake to 1200, it should take me a little over 5 days to lose 1 pound. But if I do exercise and burn, say, 250 calories a day, four days a week, that adds another 1000 calories to my expenditure. For each week, then, I have an excess calorie expenditure of 5550 calories and should be able to lose a pound and a half each week. If I lose 1.5 lbs each week from now until I reach my goal, I will weigh 110 lbs by August 20th!

Weight Loss Journal

I've decided to make a weight loss mini album to track my progress as I try to lose weight this summer. Taylor gave me some coasters she got at a garage sale, so I'm using those to make my book. I used MME papers and lots of stamps - mostly Purple Onion stamps. I love those things!

I titled my WLJ (weight loss journal) "Lose It For Good" though in hindsight I wish I'd called it "Body Clutter." Oh well.
I started with a LO about my goals and plan. I have 3 goals going into this...

1. Lose the last 5 lbs of my pregnancy weight (I'm only 1 lb away from reaching this goal now!!)
2. Lose an additional 15-20 lbs by September 1st (I've got a class reunion coming up then!)
3. Lose the last 5-10 lbs to get down to my doctor prescribed "ideal" weight.

My plan to lose this weight consists of...

• Limiting my calorie intake to 1200-1300 calories daily.
• Drinking 64 oz of water daily.
• Doing 45 minutes of cardio at least 4 times a week.

I am including a LO for each week until September, or until I reach my goal. I will include different things for different weeks, but each week I will have the dates covered in that week, my starting weight for that week, and progress I've made or successes I've had during the week. This is the LO from week 1. I am in week 2 right now.